#i swear it only felt better 10 hrs after we started

[ethxrxalitys]

pumpkin is planning on waking me up fucking me today and im 🥳🥺🤩😍🤤👀🤩

[17tetsuro]

could u do fake dating headcanons where they slowly fall for u w atsumu, kenma & oikawa,, gn pronounces are fine :)

haikyuu boys slowly falling for you (fake dating edition) (gn!reader)

feat: atsumu, kenma, oikawa

warnings: fake dating, abuse of cliche tropes and commas and question marks, timeskip setting because im anything but creative, swearing

requests are open!

a/n: thank you for requesting this!! i hope you like it :D

atsumu

* you’ve been friends with him ever since high school and you watched his career grow

* youre both equally proud of each other n your friendship is built on mutual respect, trust and love

* you basically live in his apartment, with how much time you spend over there

* he would complain 24/7 about not having anyone to go to events with

* at one point you wanted to strangle him for never shutting up about it so you propose you go with him from time to time

* atsumu: “yeah, that was a setup”

* he KNOWS you’re drop dead gorgeous and everyone will be jealous of him that you’re with him (and you also look very good in formalwear, which he very much enjoys)

* and you get to have free food and drinks and also wear immaculate expensive clothes

* so,, you became his regular date for sponsorship events and stuff

* and you never really outright said you were just friends?? so you’re used to the media portraying you two as lovers but your close circle is aware that your relationship is platonic

* everything was going great until one of his sponsor company’s heir started hitting on you

* atsumu saw you flirting with the person and his mind went blank

* he,, he didn’t understand why he wanted to commit multiple crimes on the spot

* bokuto conveniently showed up next to atsumu at that moment

“hey, atsumu? why is your date flirting with them?” bokuto asked, suddenly appearing next to atsumu, which startled the latter out of his thoughts.

a better question would be why atsumu saw red at the thought of you getting friendly with anyone but him that night. he tried his best to keep his composure, but it was hard when you rested a hand on the heir’s shoulder, leaning your head back while laughing.

“atsumu, are you not going to answer me? your lover is-“

“my what?” atsumu asked, attention now completely off you.

“your lover? is that a term you don’t like? i could say partner... significant other... or anything you want, really,” bokuto answered, apologizing.

“you- you think me and (y/n) are together?”

“aren’t you? what, with the way you look at each other i was convinced you two were like... high school sweethearts or something, who hate pda,” bokuto explained, while atsumu’s eyes trailed back to you.

“you think... you think they’d wan’ me?”

“are you blind, buddy?”

you must have sensed their gazes, because as soon as those words left bokuto’s mouth, your eyes snapped towards atsumu and bokuto. the latter started waving with a cheerful smile while the former just stood, entranced by you and your presence. atsumu noticed traces of confusion appearing on your face, and watched as you excused yourself from the conversation you were previously interested in.

“‘tsumu, are you alright?” you questioned, approaching the pair. bokuto grinned and left, which made you even more confused.

“yeah, i’m fi- fine. hey, uh, (y/n), say... do you- why did you offer to come to these events as my date?” atsumu asked, eyes dead set on yours. you cracked a confused smile. you seemed to be capable of nothing but confusion at the moment.

“because you’re my best friend and i hated to see you so down because of your loneliness at these gatherings,” you replied, holding his gaze. “why didn’t you oppose it?”

his eyes studied you and when he saw nothing but sincerity, he let out a loud sigh. this was all very new and confusing to him. it’s like bokuto calling you atsumu’s lover set off a bomb inside his head that instead of causing a mess, made everything fall into place; why his gaze seemed to linger on you more often than before, why he was so eager to choose your outfits for these events, why he went to parties he didn’t even have to attend, why he got so jealous and angry when he saw you with the cute heir.

“holy shit,” he breathed and ran his hands through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle and lowering his gaze to the ground. “holy shit.”

“you look like you’ve been enlightened, and i love that for you, but ‘tsumu, i’m still very confused.”

“i’m in love with you,” he said in disbelief, and quickly snapped his eyes back to your face when he realized he said it out loud. “i- i mean- i’m not in love with you, no way in hell, you’re- you’re my best friend, you- you smack my head whenever i say somethin’ inappropriate, you keep me from underminin’ myself, you always lift my spirits and for fuck’s sake, please, stop lookin’ at me like that because i will be getting hopeful and if you’re just joking, i will never hear the end of it and-“

you finally hd enough of his rambling and cut him off with a kiss. at first he froze, but seconds later he melted into your embrace, hands sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer.

when your lips separated, atsumu gasping for air after his word vomit and the long kiss you shared, you spoke up. “miya atsumu, you’re a real dumbass, you know that?”

his breath hitched and you kept quiet for a second to let him suffer a bit.

“but you’re my dumbass. i love you, you absolute piece of work.”

atsumu honest to god giggled and leaned in for another kiss, which you gave him without hesitation.

somewhere in the room, bokuto was collecting the money sakusa promised to give him if he got you two to kiss.

kenma

* kenma and you are both twitch streamers with similar content so you knew of each other but weren’t properly introduced

* until one of your mutual friends invited you both to stream among us with them

* you obv accepted

* so during the 3 hr stream, you and kenma were imposters together a lot and had the biggest, most twisted imp plays

* a friendly competition broke out at one point, too, trying to see who exposed the most impostors between the two of you

* your fans ate your dynamic up

* from then on, you two interacted more and started to appear in each others’ streams

* kenma even invited you to his minecraft smp

* you became besties basically

* SO

* all fun and games

* and then a huge sponsorship opportunity rolled in

* and the people at the company assumed you were dating

* uh oh

* you couldnt just tell them they have it wrong bc the whole thing depended on your relationship

* so

* big brain kenma suggest you two start to “date”

* you were against deceiving your followers but kenma assured you you could have a public breakup and tell everyone you were better off as friends

* so you reluctantly agreed

* it was only for two months anyways, what could go wrong?

* both of you, on week 3, in separate discord calls: uh oh, im in l*ve

* you both tried to cope (read: repress everything) but the realization on both of your parts threw your dynamic off a bit and fans have noticed

* so you had to do something abt it

* so kenma suggested you try your hand at a minecraft challenge together

* it was all fun and games until it wasnt

* you somehow ended up flirting back and forth ????

* chat was goin crazy, even in sub only mode

* both of you: ha ha im in danger

* when the stream ended, you stayed on call, because that was a routine you stuck to no matter what

“so... how are you doing?” you asked kenma, trying to clear the awkwardness from the air.

“good.”

maybe you should have taken kenma’s refusal to talk about anything into account when initiating conversation.

kenma, on the other end of the call was anxiously playing with his fingers, trying to figure out if his chat was right, and you were indeed flirting with him. and him with you. god.

“hey, y/n,” kenma said after a while, “were you flirting with me?”

his bluntness startled you and you had to mute yourself for a few seconds while you collected yourself.

“is there a correct answer?” you asked hesitantly.

“yes.”

“oh... uhm, maybe? it wasn’t intentional. or maybe it was, subconsciously, i don’t know,” you admitted quietly.

“good. it was intentional on my part, i think,” and okay, that was not the reply you expected to hear.

“really?”

“yeah, i- i like you i guess,” he said, sounding more confident by the minute. “do you like me too?”

“i- yeah. i do. i like you, kenma,” you replied, sighing a breath of relief. it felt good to admit it aloud to him.

“do you- would you maybe want to come over?” he asked sheepishly, which made absolutely no sense because he sounded so confident a second ago. “we could play mario kart?”

you let the beaming smile you were holding back take over your face. “i’ll be there in 10, kenma.”

“i’ll be waiting for you.”

oikawa

* on god mans hated your guts

* like,, okay, you were iwa’s close friend but you were so annoyingly honest all the time

* it drove him mad

* what also drove him mad is the fact that you loved to tease him

* no matter what the circumstance, whether he was in japan or in argentina, you always found a way to make him blush

* okay so maybe hate is a strong word, because he kind of thought you were pretty, but in a platonic way

* dumbass

* iwa always give both of you shit for not liking each other

* so you came up with a big brain idea

* you: ”oikawa! we should date!”

* oikawa: “what”

* after you explained the concept of fake dating to him and its benefits (which included a staged dramatic breakup, giving you both a reason to hate each other without iwa complaining)

* he was totally down

* iwa, when he first saw you holding hands: “i knew it”

* SO!! thus began weeks of pretending to be in love with each other for the sake of iwa

* which turned from pretending to not pretending real quick for your liking

* falling in love with oikawa was not a plan of yours

* (falling in love with you wasn’t his, either)

* with iwa’s constant nagging of “i knew it, you both were head over heels for each other from the moment you met”, the time for the breakup came quicker than expected (maybe you both had enough. so what.)

* you agreed to do it in front of iwa so he could see it happen

* you chose a mcdonalds parking lot, because then you could storm off and iwa would follow you to make sure you were ok and oikawa could go home and sleep

* maybe winging it was not the best idea

“babe,” you said with venom, “haven’t i told you a thousand times that i do not want to hear about your exes? seriously, it’s like the only thing you talk about,” you complained, as your fake-boyfriend took a sip from his drink.

“well, babe,” his tone matching yours, “i would shut up about them if took the hint sometimes. maybe i don’t like going to the movies as much as you seem to, it’s boring,” he rolled his eyes, subtly glancing at iwa, who looked very uncomfortable third wheeling your argument. good

“jerk. i don’t even want to go to the movies that much, asshole,” you spat, crushing your empty cup in your hand.

“oh, you want to go to the movies plenty. face it, (y/n), you’re boring. no wonder you didn’t have a boyfriend before me,” he replied and his words, even though you knew were fake, still hit hard and you couldn’t help the tears gathering in your eyes.

“okay, then, thanks for these wonderful past few weeks, so glad you decided to take pity on me.” you tried to keep acting, encouraging yourself with the fact that if oikwa meant what he said, you wouldn’t have to talk to him if iwaizumi finally saw you two break up.

you expected a lot of things, but genuineness in oikawa’s eyes was not one of them.

“(y/n), i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it like that,” oikawa pleaded, clearly forgetting about your mutual goal.

with a mumbled whatever, you started walking home, letting the sunset wash over your face. when you knew you were out of sight, you sat down on a bench and just started crying.

you don’t know how much time passed, but you heard a voice behind you speak up.

“hey (y/n).”

“what the fuck do you want, oikawa? to rub in the fact that my first boyfriend was just faking it so his best friend would get off his back? leave me alone, jerk,” you said, trying to wipe your tears away.

“i- i didn’t mean it like that, please, believe me,” he replied, taking a seat next to you. you scooted away from him. he sighed.

“why would i believe you? why do you want to make up, anyways? this fight was pretty real, no way iwaizumi didn’t believe it,” you sniffed.

“because maybe... maybe i was very happy about the fact that i could be your boyfriend, even if it was fake. maybe i’m in love with you,” he said softly, leaning towards you.

“please, stop playing games. it’s over,” you replied, trying very hard to ignore the raw emotion in his voice as he spoke.

“i really am, (y/n). i wasn’t at first, i admit it, but now i am. i love you, please, believe me,” he begged and you finally made eye contact with him. eyes were mirrors of the soul, after all.

you studied his face for a few minutes, looking for anything that could indicate he was trying to pull a shit prank on you, but you found nothing.

“asshole. maybe i’m in love with you too, what would you do if i said that?” you asked, wiping your nose with your sleeves.

“kiss you.”

“do it, then, i guess. but you’re still not completely forgiven.”

“what do i have to do to earn your forgiveness, (y/n)?” he asked and you sent him a mischievous smile.

“take the blame for this whole fiasco with iwaizumi.” he froze at your words and visibly gulped, but nodded nonetheless.

“okay, i will. can i kiss you now?”

you rolled your eyes. “yeah.”

and he did.

[devilatmydoor]

love is fatal I part 13

a/n; hi all!! i hope you are all doing well!! this part was so fun to write and if you know me well enough you will see why :) let me know what you think in the tags, my ask box or my dms! please stay safe, mind body and soul! 

masterlist // previous parts -  9 10 11 12 

word count; 3.3k (just under 4!)

warnings- language & drinking 

The sound of faint music in the background played as his eyes looked at the costumes in front of him, he lost track of Veronica soon after they started shopping. He looked around and left the area he was in quickly locating Veronica on the other side of the store, he walked over to her. He cleared his throat as he walked up to her and she giggled looking at him, “Hey you, have you seen anything you like?”

“Not yet, have you?” He asked as he grabbed her hand as their fingers intertwined. She showed him the handbasket in her hand but the costume was hidden.  

“I have a costume in here but I'm not sure you want to go along with it” She sighed as she walked with him.

“Why not?”

“Because you have to wear a suit and a fake mustache.” She giggled as her cheeks turned pink.

He had no clue what she was referring to, “So much for lowkey costumes." He chuckled knowing that he’d never get away with something lowkey with his Halloween obsessed girlfriend.

"Did you really think you'd get away with a lowkey costume while dating me?” She shook her head playfully before leading him towards the dressing room area

"No, but it was worth a shot. Are you gonna show me what's in the basket?" He asked as they reached an empty dressing room

"I'm gonna try it on. I was thinking we could be Morticia and Gomez Adam's." She smiled letting go of his hand.

His eyes widened as he realized what she meant by suit and a fake mustache, "Let's see the costume and we'll see."

She nodded,  kissed his cheek, and entered the room before closing the door behind her.

He crossed his arms as he waited for her to open the door and show him hr costume. He knew this wouldn't be the only idea for costumes since they had Ashton’s party to attend the day before hers.

The door slowly opened and his eyes glued to Veronica who was now dressed in a long, skin-tight, velvet dress. She took her hair out of the bun and let it fall down naturally, "What do you think?"

He stepped closer to her to get a better view; it hugged her curves perfectly and the neckline showed the perfect amount of skin, "As long as I get to see you in this dress and it ends up on the floor at the end of the night, I'm in."

Within seconds her cheeks turned pink "Really?"

He nodded before kissing her forehead, "Yes angel, do you need help getting out of the dress?" He winked and she turned bright red.

"You wish Hood." She winked before stepping back into the dressing room closing the door. He left the area to look around in hopes of finding inspiration for their second costumes. His gaze fixed on the Angel costume thinking of how he’s called her angel since their first date. He looked to see Veronica making her way over to him as he grabbed the angel costume and walked towards her, “What about this?”

“You want me to be an angel?” She asked softly as she looked at the dress.

“You are my angel,” He kissed her forehead and smiled, “You don’t have to wear this exact outfit but I was thinking maybe if your an angel I could be a devil.” He smirked and she nodded in agreement.

“That’s a good idea.” She kissed his cheek and walked towards the cashier, “You just want me wearing something short since my Morticia costume is so long.”

He let out a low chuckle as he grabbed her free hand, “You do have a point.”

She kissed his cheek before setting her basket on the counter for the cashier, he stood by as she checked out. She grabbed his hand before walking towards the door, “Are you hungry?”

He nodded as he opened the door for them, “I am, can we order take out?”

She smiled before kissing his hand, “Of course, let’s go to your place.”

He grabbed his car keys as they walked towards his car, he unlocked the door and opened the passenger door for her, “For you my love.”

She blushed before softly  kissing his lips softly and smiling, “Thank you, my love.” She got in the car and sat down followed by him closing the door behind her.

He got in the driver’s seat before starting the car pulling out of the parking lot and resting his hand on her thigh. She placed her hand on top of his and turned on the radio softly while he drove to his place.

He felt her fingers trace over his tattoos as he pulled into his neighborhood “What are you hungry for?”

She kissed his hand before intertwining their fingers, “Hmm, maybe we can make something instead of ordering out. What do you think?”

He smiled as he approached his block, “That’s a good idea angel.’

She kissed his hand as he drove up to his house slowly parking in his driveway. She unbuckled her seatbelt to kiss his cheek and turn off the radio while he finished parking. He unbuckled his seatbelt before cupping her jaw with his free hand and kissing her lips softly. She smiled against his lips before kissing his lips and resting her hand on his chest, he let go of her hand so he could hold her face with his hand, she softly nibbled on his bottom lip before whispering, “As much as I don’t want to stop, we should get in your house before I climb in your lap.”

He softly groaned and nodded in agreement, “Knowing us once we start there is no stopping us.”

She giggled as her eyes met his, “We don’t need to scar your neighbors.’

He let out a low chuckle before slowly opening his door, “You do have a point, pretty girl.” She opened her door followed by him stepping out of the car. She walked in front of his car waiting for him, he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her close to him.

She wrapped her arm around his waist, “It is okay if I change into your clothes? Your clothes are much more comfortable than mine.”

He kissed the top of her head and smiled, “Of course, you can always wear my clothes.”

He opened the front door and let her inside following after her, he closed the front door and locked it behind him. Veronica left his side to pet Duke who had run-up to her wagging his tail, “I see someone has a new favorite.” He took off his shoes as Veronica set her things on the couch.

“Hershey does the same thing with you Cal.” She giggled looking at him and winking while she stood up straight, “I’m gonna go change clothes. I’ll be right back.”

He kissed her forehead before she stepped away from him and walked down the hallway. He opened the fridge to look for food they could possibly make for dinner. He found frozen pizza in the freezer and set it on the counter. He turned around to see Veronica in her favorite hoodie of his that covered her ass so she discarded her pants.

She walked past him and sat on his kitchen counter, she motioned him closer and he stepped between her legs dangling off the edge, she wrapped her legs around him and he held her waist, “Hi beautiful.”

“Hi handsome,” She breathed as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer while her lips met his in a breathtaking kiss, he slowly opened his mouth to deepen the kiss as her tongue traced his lower lip. He gripped her hips as she firmly kissed him as if they hadn’t kissed in months.

* * * * 

The sky painted in orange, purple, and pink hues as they walked down the crowded street, her hand intertwined with his as they weeded through the crowd toward the restaurant. Calum held the door open for her as she walked inside waiting for him, he stood in the front of the restaurant waiting for Luke and Michael. The hostess sat Calum and Veronica at their reserved table, Calum sat next to her resting his hand on her thigh, “You okay baby?” 

In some ways she wishes Calum didn’t know her better than he did, he knew when she was anxious or sad, happy, and excited. He knew how to read her like a book, “I’m just nervous, neither of you told me what the surprise is about.” 

“I promise you are going to love it, Michael thought you’d believe if he had proof rather than just telling you. I was going to keep it a secret until the night of but I know my girl.” He smiled, kissing her forehead. She could swear her heart skipped a beat when he called her his girl. 

“I love it when you call me that.” She breathed as she rested her hand on top of his taking deep breaths. 

“I love you.” He beamed, kissing her lips softly before kissing her nose. 

“I love you.” She smiled at him moments before kissing his lips softly. 

“Hey! Get a room!” Michael yelped before sitting across from Calum, Luke sat down across from Veronica. 

“We’d like to but you two knuckleheads wanted to have dinner with us!” She teased with a wink. 

“That’s because Cal here didn’t think you’d believe me if he just told you!” Michael commented as he sipped his water. 

“Well he’s probably right, he knows how much I hate surprises.” She divulged as she squeezed Calum’s hand. 

“Well I know you are going to love this one.” Luke beamed as he looked at Michael. 

“We might as well tell her, she’s already anxious enough,” Calum explained, shooting her a comforting smile. 

“A couple of months ago I entered into a contest to win concert tickets for 4 people not thinking we’d actually win because of how popular the band is but a couple of days ago I got a call saying that I won,” Michal explained as all of the boys looked at Veronica. 

“What band is it?” She asked, anticipating his answer. 

Michael reached in his pocket to show her the ticket stub that reads My Chemical Romance & The Used; Reunion tour. November 4th at the Forum.

Her heart rate skyrocketed as she read the tickets four times to make sure she was reading it right, “W-We’re going to see My Chemical Romance and the Used?” She squealed as her cheeks hurt from smiling. 

Calum squeezed her thigh as they all nodded in unison, “Mhmm, Michael told me yesterday but I didn’t think you’d believe me so I asked him to join us on our date night to show you.” 

“I joined because Michael didn’t want to be the third wheel,” Luke explained with a smirk and Calum gave them both a look. 

“Thank you for not surprising me.” She cooed kissing Calums cheek softly. 

“I knew you’d be upset if I did.” He smiled as he squeezed her thigh. 

“See this is exactly why I’m here,” Luke remarked with a giggle as he drank his water. 

“Fuck off Luke, one more comment and I’m kicking you out.” He teased with a chuckle. 

“Ronnie will just let me stay in her guest room if you do!” Luke stated as he looked at the menu. 

Calum looked at her and she raised her eyebrows, “Of course I will, Lukey is always welcome at my house.” 

Calum cleared his throat before gripping her thigh, “Oh yeah?”

She gulped as his stare sent shivers down her spine, “Then again, Luke you can stay at Ashton’s.” 

“Fuck you guys!” Luke teased cueing them all to laugh, once the waiter returned they ordered food talking about the concert. 

___ 

She finished spraying hairspray on her freshly curled hair, she quickly unplugged her curling iron and set it on top of her hamper on the towels. She set her makeup with setting spray and closed her contacts case moments before she heard a knock on the bathroom door, “Almost done baby?”

“Yes! I’ll be out in a second.” She explained before flattening her dress and putting on her white heels and making sure she looked presentable for Ashton’s party. She slowly opened the door to see Calum leaning against the wall dressed in all red as his eyes glued to his phone.

She cleared her throat causing him to look at her, he looked her up and down and bit his bottom lip, “O-oh fuck.”

She quickly twirled, “What do you think?”

“You look, perfect angel,” He beamed as he stepped closer to her, putting his phone in his pocket so he could place his hands on her hips, “We could just have our own party here.” He smirked before kissing her lips softly.

“Oh yeah? Do you not want to go to Ashton’s party?” She asked, resting her hands on his chest.

“I do, I just prefer his friends seeing my smoking hot girlfriend in this outfit.” He winked, kissing her lips softly.

She smiled against his lips as her cheeks flushed, “We can stay as long as you want okay?”

“So we’ll be there half an hour, sounds good to me,’’ He chuckled, leading her towards her front door.

She giggled as she grabbed her clutch by the front door, “I at least need to see Luke.”

“Mhmm, we’ll see about that angel.” He winked opening her front door for her.

“We will, won’t we?” She teased as she grabbed her keys and locked the door.

His hand intertwined with his while they walked to his car, he quickly unlocked the door and opened it for her. She kissed his cheek moments before he helped her into his car. He closed the door behind her and ran to his side of the car and got in, he started the car as her hand rested on his thigh, she set up her phone and started playing music softly.

Her hand stayed on his thigh the entire drive to Ashton's house as she played her Halloween playlist softly in the background. As they pulled into the neighborhood they noticed Grayson and Luke’s car on the street. Calum quickly parked his car on the free spot he found a block away from Ashton’s house. He cut the engine and took his seatbelt off, “Wait for me baby.”

“Okay.” She smiled as she took off her seatbelt and grabbed her clutch, he got out of the car and closed his door before getting on her side and opening the door for her. He grabbed her hand and helped her out of the car, he closed the door and locked his car. “Thank you handsome.”

“Of course, beautiful.” He smiled, kissing her forehead before snaking his arm around her waist, she wrapped hers around his and rested her hand on his chest. He kissed the top of her head softly and she looked up at him and smiled.

Her phone vibrated in her clutch and she quickly checked to see who it was; Lule texted her to see where her and Calum were. She put her phone back in her purse. “Luke is looking for us.”

“Of course he is, he’s excited to see our couples costumes.” Calum expressed as he winked, when they got close to Ashton’s house they could hear the music blaring. Calum opened the door for Veronica letting her into the house.

(Calum POV)

Veronica hugged Luke as he admired their costumes, he looked around for Ashton and Grayson but didn’t see them anywhere. Luke dressed as a vampire because Veronica kept urging him to dress as  Louis from Interview With a Vampire, “Give me your phone, I need to take photos of you two.”

“Right here?” She asked nervously as she clung to him.

“Your right, there’s better lighting in the bathroom.” Luke explained as he motioned them to follow him.

They followed behind him towards Ashton’s bathroom as they weeded through the crowd of people. Luke quickly opened the bathroom door and let him in before shutting the door, “This is much better.”

She shook her head playfully at him as she reluctantly handed Luke her phone, “Are you okay with him taking pictures of us?”

“Of course I am,” He said with a smile as he pulled her closer while Luke started snapping pics.

She kissed his cheek and he flipped it around and kissed her cheek before staring in her eyes, “You're so perfect.”

She blushed and hid her face in his neck, “Calum!”

“Hey! I’m still taking pictures!” Luke giggled as he shook his head.

“C’mon baby, he can’t take pictures if the sexiest person isn't looking.” He complimented before softly giving her ass a smack.

She yelped before giving him a look he had memorized, “Calum I swear to god.”

“Ronnie, c'mon he’s almost done. Aren’t you Luke?” it was time for Calum to give Luke a look he had memorized. He nodded and Veronica hugged his waist and they took a couple more pictures before Luke handed Veronica her phone before they all left the bathroom. They walked towards the living room as he looked for Ashton.

Luke stayed with Veronica as Calum went to get him and Veronica something to drink, he grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with spiced rum and filled the other half of the cup with coke. He grabbed a bottle of water for himself and walked up to Luke and Veronica who were laughing at something, “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” She smiled as she grabbed the cup and kissed his cheek. He scanned the room to see if Ashton was even inside of the house, he eyed tucker and rolled his eyes.

“Where is Ash? I see everyone but him.” He asked as he opened his bottle.

“I think he’s outside, should we go find him?” Luke asked and they both nodded as he grabbed Veronica’s hand and squeezed it tight as they weeded through the crowd.

The music welcomed them as they stepped outside and saw Ashton talking to Michael who was DJ’ing. They walked up to them and Ashton smiled when he saw them, “Wow look at you two!”

“Don’t they look great?” Luke gushed causing Veronica to blush and look at Calum.

“You do, I’ve never seen Calum dress up in a couples costume before.” Ashton mentioned as he sipped his drink.

Calum cleared his throat and Veronica gave him a look and smiled so big, “He picked tonight's outfit and for my party I picked our costumes.”

Ashton and Luke gave Calum a look and his eyes widened at them, ‘We’ll be there won’t we Luke?”

"Oh we definitely will.” Luke commented and she giggled as she sipped her drink.

Veronica attempted to dance but gave up until she finished her drink, Michael’s playlist was perfect according to her. Once she finished her drink she grabbed Calum’s hand and joined the crowd dancing. His hands found a home on her hips as she slowly grinded on him, causing him to grip her hips tightly as she continued to grind on him. It didn’t take long for her dancing to turn him on causing him to get hard underneath her which didn’t take long for her to notice, she pressed her ass on him as she grinded her ass on his ever growing boner. He softly smacked her ass, “What did I tell you about teasing me?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” She winked as she continued her movements causing him to groan in her ear.

He smacked her ass harder and growled, “Baby stop.”

“Make me.” She sassed and he stopped dancing with her and grabbed her hand before taking her inside leaving Luke and Ashton as he walked with her towards the guest bedroom.

 @pxrxmoore  @sublimehood @ghostoflrh @calumscalm @mellifluoushood @calumthomcs @twilightmomentswithyou @boytoynamedcalum @ohhmuke @calswildflower @highscal @sanrioluke @softlrh @flowers-on-the-graves @currentlyupcalsass @clemmings @highfivecalum @wastelandcth @himbocalum @feliznavidaddycal @icyicejuice @notinthesameguey @blackbutterfliescal @calumrose @tpwkatsumu

[farfromtommy]

world’s best surprise PART 2 // dad!Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: part 2 bc lots of you asked for it. dad!tom makes me soft. hope you all enjoy reading this, I loved writing it :))))) I did not proof read/ edit it bc its 3am and I have to be up in 3 hrs and really need to sleep oops

A/N 2: THIS VERSION IS A REWRITE PLS ENJOY <3

summary: y/n goes into labor 

warning: swearing, childbirth, fluff 

word count: 3,330

requests are open!!!!!

masterlist

add yourself to my taglist <3

PART 1 

not my gif

Everyone you talked to and everything you read always said pregnancy was the most beautiful thing that could happen. That it was magical and amazing. You felt that way after the morning sickness had subsided and you felt the “pregnancy glow” everyone talked about. But now at 36 almost 37 weeks, you were absolutely over it. 

It was a Friday night and instead of going out and enjoying the last few weeks before the baby arrived, you were on the couch eating ice cream and watching tv. You put your feet up on the coffee table and rested your bowl on your stomach looking for something to watch.

You started your maternity leave when you hit 32 weeks. Nobody told you how boring it was going to be just sitting around waiting for your baby to come. Most days were spent lounging around your new house. 

You and Tom had finally moved into your new house and you spent most of your day unpacking and getting the nursery ready for the baby who could make an appearance any day. You finished organizing all of his clothes and basic necessities. Although your baby would be spending time in your bedroom for a little while, you still wanted his nursery to be perfect. 

You laid back, still using the top of your stomach as a table, and began watching a movie that had piqued your interest. You were about 15 minutes into it when you heard keys jingle and the lock turning. You looked over just as Tom walked in, looking beat and exhausted. He had been trying to finish the last few things he needed to do before the baby arrived so he could take time off to care for you and his newborn. 

He set his things down and kicked off his shoes. He walked over to where you were sitting and as soon as he saw you, everything negative in his body seemed to melt away. 

“I want to take you out somewhere. You can pick the place. I just need to take you out somewhere and show you off.” Tom smiled at you as he leaned over the back of the couch. You twisted your head to look at him and saw the wide grin he had on his face. 

“Is that so? Well you’re pulling me away from my ice cream and a movie, so it better be worth it.” You smiled back. He walked around to the front of the couch to stand in front of you. He leaned down and placed a sweet kiss to your lips. He moved your ice cream bowl, and grabbed your hands to help you stand up. You moved your legs from the coffee table and placed them on the ground, allowing Tom to help you up. 

~

You both sat there in the restaurant taking in the wonderful time you were both having. You were talking about everything and anything that came to your mind. Tom seemed fidgety and nervous towards the end of dessert. You finished your cheesecake and wiped the corner of your mouth. 

You took a deep breath and leaned back in your chair, you were absolutely stuffed to the brim with the decadent meal you just had. There was honestly not that much room left in your stomach but you always managed to throw down some cheesecake. Tom took the bill and you two were heading out the door when he suggested taking a little walk to the park about a block from the restaurant. 

“It’s a beautiful night, it would be a shame if we didn’t take advantage of it.” He grabbed your hand and led you towards the park. A few minutes later you made it to the park and saw a bench that overlooked the whole thing. Tom saw your gaze fall on the bench and chuckled to himself. 

He sat down next to you and let one of his arms fall behind your shoulders and the other rested on your stomach. He moved it around until he felt what he was waiting for. The baby seemed to know whenever it was Tom touching your stomach and almost immediately would respond by kicking as hard as they possibly could. 

“I don’t think that’s ever going to get old.” He said, looking at your bump lovingly. You rested your head on his shoulder and just watched the interaction he was having with your baby. 

“Seeing how excited you get when they kick makes the tiny feet in my ribs worth it.” You said to him. He snorted and pressed a kiss to your hairline. He shifted on the bench a little, allowing you to lean into his body more. As sneakily as he could, Tom reached into the pocket of the jean jacket he was wearing and pulled out what he had been holding onto all night. 

He kept it closed in his fist and moved it out in front of you. He kissed your cheek to get your attention and moved it closer to you. You turned over his fist and he opened up his fingers to reveal a diamond ring resting in his palm. A gasp left your mouth and you turned around and looked him in the eye. 

“I’ve been thinking about what I want to say to you when I propose for years, probably since we got together. I never want to leave your side for as long as I’m alive. I look at you and all I can think about is the family we’re about to start and how badly I want to keep making babies with you. This is the life I’ve dreamed of having, and it’s not a dream anymore. I love you so much, Y/N. I want to marry the shit out of you. So, will you marry me?” He said in a quiet voice, his eyes darting across your face. 

The only word you managed to get out was ‘Yes’ before the tears fell down your face and you wrapped your arms around Tom. You felt him sigh a breath of relief and embraced you as close as he could. You sobbed into his shoulders as he placed kisses into your neck. He pulled back and grabbed your left hand so he could slide the ring onto your finger. The second it was on he brought it to his lips and kissed your knuckles. 

~ 

When you got home neither of you were ready to turn in for the night, opting to get comfortable on the couch.  You and Tom were cuddled up on the couch watching some action movie when you both started to fall asleep. Tessa was sitting at the other end of the couch, loving the company. 

He had you wrapped in his arms and laid between his legs with your back against his chest, your hands resting on your bump, you used his biceps as a pillow and just let your eyes close. You loved falling asleep wrapped in his arms, it’s where you felt safest. 

You were woken up from your deep slumber by a sharp pain radiating from your stomach. Your doctor said it was normal to feel cramping, as your body was getting ready for birth, but this was different. It was worse than anything you had felt. Refusing to let the panic set in, you just sat there trying to calm down. 

You stayed awake for a little bit, wanting to see if it happened again. You and Tom were still tangled on the couch and Tessa still asleep at your feet. You gasped quietly as you felt another sharp pain in the same spot about 10 minutes later, waking up Tessa in the process. She looked at you and started whining. You shushed her as you felt Tom stir from behind you.

“Tess shh ��m tryin’ to sleep.” Tom mumbled from behind you and shifted a little, trying to go back to sleep. He tightened his grip on your body as he started to fall asleep. 

“Tom, s-something’s wrong. I’m h-having these pains in my stomach. I haven’t felt this b-before.” You stuttered out. Tom’s eyes shot open and he saw the panic spread across your face. He helped you sit up and kneeled in front of you. 

“Let’s just try and stay calm, yeah? Doctor said to get you in a tub with warm water to relax your body. Wanna try that before we call her?” He said in a low voice, trying to keep you calm. You nodded frantically before he stood up and helped you to the master bathroom. 

He helped you out of your clothes and into the tub. You sat there for a while, letting the warm water wrap around your body. Tom sat there next to you, running his hand up and down your back to help you relax. He whispered words of encouragement as you gripped the sides of the tub. 

After about 20 minutes in the tub you hadn’t felt any pains again. You drained the tub and with Tom’s help you started to stand up. When you were out of the tub and wrapped in your fluffy robe, you felt a huge amount of pressure in your stomach drop, and then a gush of liquid come out from between your legs. You gasped and grabbed the nearest surface to try and steady yourself. Tom looked over to you in panic and just stood there, waiting for you to say something.

“I think that was my water, we should probably go to the hospital.” You squeaked and looked up at Tom. He just stared at you with wide eyes until he processed what you had said. 

You were waiting in the living room as Tom frantically ran around your house, trying to get everything you had gotten ready to take to the hospital. The carseat was installed last week, your bags were in the trunk, Tom’s mom was on her way to pick up Tessa and take her back to her house, and your doctor had been called and was going to meet you at the hospital. You were standing by the door with your hand on the wall, trying to steady yourself as your contractions started to come in. 

“Tom can we PLEASE go, we need to go!” You said to him as you saw his whip down the stairs and into the living room. “Yes, love! Let’s go, I have everything.” He said as he ran to the door. He helped you into the car and made sure you were as comfortable as you could be and you made your way to the hospital in record time. You were in your hospital room getting checked by your doctor within 30 minutes of your water breaking. 

The epidural was working wonders after what felt like the millionth hour of being in labor. Only at 6 centimeters dilated, you and Tom were in for a treat for the next couple of hours. He had asked if the lights could be dimmed in your room so you could try and relax as much as possible. His hands were pressing into your lower back as you laid on your side to try and release some of the tension you were holding there. 

“You’re being awfully quiet, Tom. What’s going on in that head of yours?” You whispered, turning your head to look behind you. 

“‘m sorry lovey. I’m feeling a bit scared and overwhelmed but this is about you and the little one, so don’t worry about me.” He spoke truthfully. You motioned for him to help you turn to your other side. He quickly stood and maneuvered your body to a new position. He sat in his chair again and you placed your hand against his cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch and shut his eyes. 

“It’s okay to be scared right now, Tommy. I’m terrified, if I’m being honest. But we’re going to meet our baby today, just try and think about how excited we’ve been. Everything is going to be okay.” He smiled at your words. You always knew how to talk him down when he was feeling anxious about something. 

“We’re about to become parents. How crazy is that?” You chuckled. He opened his eyes and let a grin take over his face. 

“The craziest.” He whispered, moving closer to you. He planted kisses all over your face and hugged you as best 

~

“One more push Y/N and they’ll be out!” The doctor said as you started to push again. A few seconds later you felt an immense amount of pressure shoot out of your body and as you looked down you saw your baby in the hands of your doctor. They were placed onto your bare chest as they wailed out. 

You were there in disbelief as your baby was just placed onto your chest. You couldn’t believe They were here. They were being cleaned up as you just stared in wonder. Not even realizing you were crying, Tom wiped more tears off your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

“Go ahead and check and see what it is.” A nurse said as they continued to wipe the baby down. You looked at Tom as you looked to see what gender your baby is. 

“It’s a boy! Tommy, we have a son.” You cried out, tears still streaming down your face. 

“He’s perfect Y/N, oh my god. Just absolutely perfect.” Tom said with amazement in his eyes. You looked at the way he admired his son and how nothing else seemed to matter anymore. 

“We gotta have more Tom, we have to.” You sobbed out, running your hands along your son’s body. All the nurses and your doctor laughed at what you said. The nurse cleaning him up said it’s not the first thing mom’s say after going through labor. Tom just agreed with you and kept wiping the tears off your face. 

You three were the only people in the world. It was perfect. Tom cut the umbilical cord and just watched in pure shock as the nurses did all his measurements and wrapped him in a blanket. They handed him to Tom and you could see how tense he was as they placed your son into his arms, but almost immediately relaxed. 

He walked over to your bed and sat on the edge of it. You moved over as much as you could and watched your son in the arms of your fiancé. You ran your finger along his cheek and couldn’t take your eyes off of him. 

“Hey mate, happy birthday.” Tom whispered when your son opened his eyes. You looked up at Tom and saw the tears forming on his lash line. Tom brought him closer to his face and placed his forehead against the baby’s. It took everything in you to not lose your shit. 

~

“My goodness, Y/N. He is so beautiful.” Nikki whispered as she held her grandson. Dom was standing right behind her looking at the new addition. 

“He looks a bit like Tom did, don’t he?” Dom asked. All Nikki could do was nod and continue staring at him. Tom had left the room to get his brothers and Harrison from the waiting room so they could have their introduction.

Tom knocked on the door lightly before pushing it open with a herd of people behind him. Harrison was the first to lay his eyes on the baby and all the air seemed to leave his body. Tom’s brothers all walked in and had the same reaction to seeing their nephew.

“Bloody hell, he looks exactly like Tom.” Sam managed to get out, moving to get a proper look at him. Nikki turned a bit to move to the center of the group of the boys. Harrison was the first to reach out to hold him. He looked up to you to make sure it was okay and after you gave him a nod, he carefully took the baby.

“I’m going to implode if you don’t tell us what his name is already.” Harry looked up at you and Tom waiting for one of you to say something. You looked over at Tom motioned for him to get on with it. He walked over to Harrison and rubbed his hand along the top of the baby’s head. 

“This is Oliver Thomas Holland.” Tom announced to the room. You smiled as everyone looked over at him. Oliver began to fuss a little bit in Harrison’s arms and he started to panic, looking to Tom for help. Tom laughed at his friend not knowing what to do with the squirming baby. 

“He’s probably hungry. I’ll take him, just hand me that blanket. You guys can stay in here, if you want.” You stretched your arms out and had the baby passed to you. Adjusting your hospital gown, the baby and the blanket, you managed to get Oliver eating without flashing anyone. 

Everyone found a spot in the room and just started conversations with each other. Tom looked under the blanket a couple times just to admire the love of his life feeding his son. Nikki had asked about the IV in your left hand and you lifted it up to show her, forgetting about the extra piece of jewelry you had on your finger. 

“Is that an engagement ring?!” She slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing she may have been a little too loud. Everyone stopped and looked at you. You sheepishly smiled and looked over at Tom. 

Harry walked over to Tom and slapped a hand on his back, congratulating him. Of course he had told Sam, Harry, and Harrison that he was planning on proposing. Nikki started crying and continued looking at your ring. She hugged you as best as she could with the baby in your arms. 

~

Adjusting to life as parents wasn’t easy. Ollie had decided against sleeping and was up every 2 hours screaming, needing attention from his parents. You wouldn’t trade it for anything, though. The middle of the night feedings and diaper changes made the time you spent with him during the day worth it. 

Watching your son start to get a grasp on life and exploring this new world he was in was amazing. Most of your day was spent on the couch with your little one in your arms, or watching Tom interact with him. Tom was super excited when the labor and delivery nurses had encouraged him to continue doing skin to skin at home. 

Breaking the news to Tom’s fans about the new member of your family was almost as scary as him announcing he was dating you. Tom’s instagram feed was filled with pictures of you, so the fans were very aware of your relationship. You had gone to all his premieres and were always spotted in public with him. Luckily, you managed to avoid the public finding out about your pregnancy. 

Tom had agreed with you about keeping Ollie out of the public eye, not wanting his pictures being exploited. You agreed to one instagram post. Tom’s fans were so important to him, and he wanted to include them in the excitement of having a new addition. 

He had Harry come over to your house to take a few pictures. The one you had approved for instagram was of you, Tom and Ollie on the couch. You held Ollie close to your chest, turning his head so it wasn’t visible. Tessa was sitting right next to you looking into the camera and Tom next to Tessa, looking over at you and Ollie. 

Harry had found a shirt for Tessa online that said ‘World’s Best Big Sister’ and decided it was very appropriate for the occasion. Tom posted the photo to his instagram with the caption --

Tessa is very excited to tell the world about her baby brother. Y/N and I welcomed a baby boy into our lives a few weeks ago. We’re both so overwhelmed with love and joy and are loving this new chapter of our lives. I will be taking time off from filming to be with my son and fiancée, but you will see some more from me in the not so distant future. Thank you everyone for your love and support. #BabyHolland 

---

For everyone who wanted a part 2!!!

@ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark @crazy12cinemas @xoluvx @afictionaladventure16 @fab-notfat @tomscuddle 

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

The Angel’s Share - Ch. 10

Chapter: 10 of ? (Series Masterlist here)

Summary: Thomas catches up to his runaway guest.

A/N: Co-written with the best writing partner ever, @yespolkadotkitty!

It was completely fine that Thomas hadn’t come after her.

It was totally fine that she was thinking about him using his proper name.

It was very much fine that her fingertip kept tracing over her lips, as if branding the memory of his kiss forever on her skin.

Except it wasn’t fine.

It wasn’t fine that the corners of her eyes burned with tears she refused to shed on principle alone. It wasn’t fine at all that her heart ached with each beat that echoed in her ears, tuning out every other sound. It was not fine that she had desperately hoped beyond all logic that Thomas would come after her.

Nobody had before, so why would he be any different?

Why would that vastly complicated man with a breathtaking smile and kind eyes come after someone so common, so unlike anyone he’s ever dated before, so weighed down with emotional baggage that they gathered beneath her eyes in dark purple circles?

It wasn’t a fairytale, and she would never be Cinderella.

Not that she wanted to be. She was perfectly capable of getting by on her own. She didn’t need a dashing prince to come into her life, rescuing her from an eternity toiling away behind a bar, sweeping her off to grand parties and expensive dinners and muesli for breakfast.

But what about quiet evenings spent in a study, sipping smokey whiskey and gifting the other bits of their souls in the soft lamplight? Laughter shared over the exuberance of a happy little boy, dragging them along by their fingers in an iron grip they wouldn’t dare break? Banter tossed back and forth in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant over cheap food and beer?

It didn’t matter.

Her feet bounced against the floorboard of the cab incessantly, and the passing scenery blurred as she stared out the window. Until traffic slowed to a crawl, before stopping altogether. Surrounded by cars, a common occurrence for the London native, she settled back against the seat and closed her eyes against the all too painful images of Thomas’ hopeful, but distraught, face.

“Are you alright there, miss?”

She cracked her eyes open, rubbing at them with a heavy sigh, not even caring if what little mascara she had put on that morning smudged. She hated chatty cab drivers. It was why Uber was invented. “Fine, thanks.”

Sweet silence filled the cab, and she slumped back into the seat, thinking that she’d be allowed to spend the rest of the drive - once they started moving again - in relative peace.

She was wrong.

“Erm, miss, you came from the Sharpe Estate, correct?”

She pushed her fingers against her temples, willing herself to just sink into the stained cloth seats beneath her to avoid wherever the conversation could possibly be headed. “Yes, why?”

“I believe that might be Sir Thomas Sharpe. On horseback. And he’s gaining on us.”

He wouldn’t.

She twisted in the seat, staring out the back of the cab to confirm the source of anxiety that suddenly swirled in her stomach like a swarm of bees. There he was, seated on Bandit like a lord of old, just as the cabbie had said, his dark hair poking above the tallest vehicles as his horse trotted down the street. He peered into every car, obviously looking for someone.

And the only person she could think that he could be searching for was her.

It was as if she lost control of her body. Without thinking, she stepped out of the cab with her knees knocking against each other, standing as tall as she could manage, feeling lots of eyes on her at once, and maybe not caring because he had come. He had followed her.

Was he for real? He looked something out of a movie, or a long-ago medieval ballad, hair windswept and clothes disheveled from the ride, calling her name from the back of his white stallion as it weaved in between the stationary cars without pause. Her name. And when he finally saw her, standing like someone gone mad in the midst of it all, the smile that tugged on his lips stopped her heart for a moment that stretched.

“Kate,” he called, galloping up to her, dismounting and closing the distance between them. He stopped just in front of her, so close she could smell the clean scent of his sweat and cologne and the faint aroma of leather polish mixed amongst the unpleasant exhaust of the idling cars about them. His azure eyes searched her face plaintively.

What did she do with her hands? They longed to reach out, push a stray lock of hair from his flushed forehead, curl in the collar of his shirt. Instead, she twisted them together in front of her, chewing lightly on her bottom lip. “You're going to get yourself killed, riding in this traffic."

The tenderness in his eyes was rivaled only by that of his whispered reply of, "Another obituary for Lucille."

"What?" She squinted up at him against the sun that glinted off of his raven hair, utterly confused at his response. That wasn't the direction she'd expected the conversation to take after he'd gallantly chased her down on horseback.

***

“Oh, I sometimes - that’s a conversation for later.” He smiled down at her, and took her hands in his, gently curling his fingers around hers.

“You came,” she said woodenly, and Thomas suddenly realised something.

“You didn’t think I would?”

She worried her lip, her eyes downcast, and she was so plaintive in that single moment that his heart ached, hard, for what she’d been through, and he wished he could wipe that slate clean for her. “Well, why would you. I chose to leave after all.”

“And I chose to follow you.” He lifted a hand from hers to cup her cheek. “And I always will. Until you tell me not to. Until you tell me no, Kate, I will follow you anywhere you permit me to. Although I might not be able to do it on horseback every time.” She gave a watery laugh, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Oh, Kate. Gideon made you a gingerbread ma- person.”

“He did?”

“He truly did. Come back to Allerdale with me? Please? And tell me what I did to make you leave, and I swear I shall never do such a thing again.”

She melted into him then, and Thomas thought it was the most magical thing, the strongest woman he’d ever met, showing her vulnerability to him amid the sea of traffic, in the capital of the country. If he could get a peek at this Kate, the Kate deep inside, then maybe, maybe, he had a shot with her. For real.

“You didn’t do anything,” she mumbled.

He started to ask her what the devil she meant, but then the traffic ahead started to move, and someone impatient arsehole behind Kate’s car beeped their horn. Thomas had a mind to teach him some manners in a less than polite fashion, but Kate straightened up. “Meet you back at Allerdale?” she asked. Her voice was all business again, but her eyes, her eyes were softer.

And Thomas smiled, knowing she probably needed this time to herself. “Of course. I’ll have some tea ready. For the gingerbread.”

“It’s a date.”

Thomas watched her slide back into the car - less shaky now, he noted, good - before he got back into Bandit’s saddle and made the trip back home at a more leisurely pace. Kate beat him there, of course, but he’d aimed to let her. No need for her to be poleaxed twice in one day. When he dismounted, digging in the pocket of his Barbour for a carrot to give to Bandit, Kate was crouching on the lawn, Gideon standing before her, a plate full of gingerbread people in his small hands.

“And this one is you!”

“It’s an amazing likeness!” Kate lifted the gingerbread version of herself. ”Can I?”

“Okay!” Gideon beamed, and Kate bit into the gingerbread with a grin.

“It’s delicious.”

“Of course,” the boy beamed. “I maded it.”

Kate stood up and held out her hand. “How about we go inside and share these with everyone? I bet they’d taste even better with tea.”

Gideon carefully shifted the plate to one hand with his tongue stuck out between his lips in concentration before slipping his tiny hand into hers. “Why do grown-ups like tea? I want lemonade.”

“Let’s ask your mum about that, shall we?” Kate laughed, the most carefree sound he’d heard from her perhaps ever, and Thomas’ heart squeezed at the scene. Kate had so much to give. Her heart was as wide as the ocean, and if she were to open it to him, he’d never stop being grateful every day he lived.

He didn’t know when it had stopped being about the whiskey and started being about Kate. But now that he’d gotten to know her, he somehow needed her more than he’d ever needed anything. And he had to hope she felt the same way.

***

Series taglist: @rjohnson1280 @alexakeyloveloki @villainousshakespeare @wolfsmom1 @arch-venus25 @tamstrugglestowrite @trickstersteve @lucantis @exygon @kneel-before-queen-loki

HRS Whole Shebang taglist: @just-the-hiddles @vodka-and-some-sass @nonsensicalobsessions @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @myoxisbroken @brokenthelovely @myworddump @polireader @wiczer @littleredstarfish @the-broken-angel-13 @xxloki81xx @jessiejunebug @tinchentitri @sllooney​ @devilbat​ @vikkleinpaul​ @bouquet-o-undercaffeinated-roses​ @angelus80 @wolfsmom1 @kthemarsian​ @toozmanykids​ @claritastantrum @princerowanwhitethorngalathynius​ @sabine-leo​ @lovesmesomehiddles​ @peterman-spideyparker​ @wegingerangelica​ @bluefrenchfries604​ @catsladen @snoopy3000​ @silverswordthekilljoy​

[sixcastappreciation]

sixcago gave me my gay rights

alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third

this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago

like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out

so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.

so to get into the actual show

ex wives

when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment

less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song

i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth

shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later

the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that

adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”

andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that

abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part

when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa

i love brittney mack

courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl

anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god

the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good

oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay

intro thingy:

adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan

annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong

you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud

the way adrianna says maria made me gay

abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up

protestent............ protestant

“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying

“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant

no way

“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it

“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute

her emotion during the monologue was SO funny

it was peak, it was so good

she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it

when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck

so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a

well idk what youd call it but a like

her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”

and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It

adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?

like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little

i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense

you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life

she said that with such conviction goddamn

oh, he doesnt remember

this was so good

the “sh-”s were really funny

the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*

holy shit

i cant put into words

how much i loved that part

the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive

i just checked it was 10 whole seconds

that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever

she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks

the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it

adrianna just had really good stage presence

like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney

it was just so fun to watch her go!

dluh

during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background

like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like

idk like noodling around in the back

and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little

the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute

then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle

then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute

like, her tongue was OUT

“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard

i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy

they were not

pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience

the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed

the way andrea delivered her lines here was just

it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed

uwu

when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way

which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot

don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko

i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because

it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me

i think it fits w andreas portrayal too

everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo

and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?

bro just shut up

the entire audience gasped after that

andrea had actual like, panic on her face

then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”

and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed

it was long enough that everyone got the joke

then she mimed the blow job

her riff on “hell”? iconic

“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine

abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god

“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?

then boleyn goes off

the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”

“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be

heart of stone

oof

okay so the monologue

oof

“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f

“edwina” is still cursed tho

i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but

this made it clear that jane had been Through It

like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation

“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression

this is where she started tearing up i think

okay i gotta take a moment here because

abby was fully crying before the song even started

like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up

i was looking for it specifically

i wrote this before the last part so see above

so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking

holy shit ms meuller what the fuck

im not kidding who gave her the right

at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song

she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying

abby went high on a couple of notes in here

she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow

she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show

but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer

there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause

i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but

i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god

the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense

this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever

i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again

this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller

haus of holbein

hans................................. *holbein*

the chaos

i honestly barely remember most of it it was

i had no idea who to be looking at

but i remember it being beautiful

i dont have the words to express how

fucking funny it was

the accents were hilarious

like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better

they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all

the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground

ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it

she dropped the german accent

and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv

the freeze frame? legendary

anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them

your highness your highness your highness

god adrianna please

actually every h sound that came out of their mouths

but adrianna Got It

get down

oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”

brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead

the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible

she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”

fucking legend

brING me some pheasant!

the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here

this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it

brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased

oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying

iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”

we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo

like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but

brittney went full opera and it was,

wow

shes got a voice on her holy shit

so much talent in such a tiny body

aCHYEAH

she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and

they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again

not like, in a bad way i dont think

it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”

but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything

im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person

everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing

i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already

anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves

her fake crying is next level tho

the confrontation

boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!

the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny

seymours “i died”

we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery

but GOD

and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal

the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad

theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice

courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing

also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it

after she did that she like

rubbed her hand on janes face

and abby looked SO offended

theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me

i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing

and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin

there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting

aywd

courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!

jesus christ

okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but

for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear

like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but

from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid

idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional

not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping

like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent

it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment

im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this

if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional

actually this is already so long ima go for it

so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle

and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig

but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like

she freaked out

and listening back to the audio i can

unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio

because it was so physical

like you could see how scared she was

which made it more relateable to me honestly

like she looked so so scared

it was heartbreaking

the confrontation part ii

oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES

“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me

anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh

idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to

during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute

BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR

idnyl

a cute little b flat major 7

yeah anna parr seems

hmm

she seems like she’s just, over henry

like from the start she just has no time for him

idk im Conceptualizing

anna uzele is

her voice is next level

she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note

anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good

andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny

khoward keeping aragon in line was

not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved

both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”

idk it was a cute character moment

one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix

abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf

yeah, i read

iconique

andrea like, threw her head back for this line

the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is

painfully long and so so so funny

i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny

also her “yeah?” ended my life

she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body

the part where they get all meta. has me dead

it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know

this actually distracted me

i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part

first off, mood

secondly, good

annas riffing. god.

she is so talented

dsfjksdf they all straight up left

six

the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny

abby again killing it with janes cursed lines

courtney howard is actually so cute

when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is

like her “bye!” was so cute

theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute

megasix

adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died

at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute

after the show

i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before

it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane

i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds

abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit

i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah

she was seriously the nicest

the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it

lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because

they killed it

bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times

brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!

i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!

also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”

thank u sixcago program

in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful

im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u

[samuraiko]

UPDATED LINK BECAUSE THE MAIN ONE IS BROKEN!

This post is a Public Service Announcement.

I’ll admit right now that I let this post sit in my drafts since last night because I’m probably going to hork off SOMEONE by posting this. But in the end, my conscience wins out, so here it is.

******

I love THE ROYAL TUTOR. I want it to keep going. I want a second season (and more) of the anime. I want stage shows (even if I can’t attend them and I don’t speak Japanese anyway). I want merch and soundtracks and stuff.

And the only way to make sure this happens is if the fandom keeps throwing money at it. So, folks, PLEASE STOP POSTING THE CHAPTERS ONLINE!

Now, I can already hear some people howling “BUT KO~OOOOOOOOOOOO, I DON’T WANNA SPEND MONEY, I WANNA DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREEEEEEEEEEE!”

No.

No no no no no no no.

It’s a DOLLAR NINETY-NINE per issue, people. (For me, $2.16 with WA state sales tax.) Downsize your food order ONCE at a fast food restaurant, and hello, Royal Tutor goodness on your web browser or e-pub reader of choice.

If you are honestly going to sit there and tell me you can’t come up with TWO BUCKS A *MONTH* to support a series you love, I swear to Christ, I will develop telekinesis so I can reach through the internet and smack you in the face with your own keyboard.

A $25 Visa debit gift card will get you several issues (EVEN WHEN THEY’RE DOUBLE ISSUES, THEY STILL ONLY COST $1.99 - HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!) 

And this isn’t me going after folks who post a page or a panel because it’s hilarious or hot or downright ridiculous. Share the covers! Get people excited! Post a panel going “OMG BRUNO LOOKS AMAZING!”

(Coz let’s face it, Bruno always looks amazing.)

Just don’t post the entire godsdamned chapter because THEN NOBODY WILL BUY IT.

But Ko~oooooooooooo, I’m broke!

I have been poor. My parents lost everything, short of our house, at one point. I wore my older brother’s hand-me-downs because my sister’s clothes didn’t fit me. I started unofficially working when I was 10 years old. I raked leaves. I mowed lawns. I delivered newspapers. I babysat. At 14, I started working at the local movie theatre (back when minimum wage was $3.25/hr). Most of what I earned went toward my school clothes and helping out around the house. What was left was mine - I bought books and CDs because they lasted longer and I could enjoy them again and again.

It is not hyperbole when I say that while I was in college, I was starving to death a day at a time thanks to a running battle for control of my own life. 

And yet, because I knew my spirit would shrivel up and die if I didn’t feed it somehow, I scrounged enough to buy used CDs and books and VHS tapes (this is pre-DVD era, mind you) so I could enjoy some entertainment in my miserable life. I typed papers. I did tarot readings. I tutored fellow students. I cleaned apartments and dorm rooms. I worked as a stripper for a while. But that money was mine, and come hell or high water, I was going to enjoy SOMETHING with it.

But Ko~oooooooooooooooooooo, it’s just a few scans, why is this such a big deal?!

Because unlike those fricking juggernaut series like Bleach and Naruto and DBZ and MHA that will likely continue until the sun goes nova, the Royal Tutor market is far smaller. And thus far more vulnerable to the whims of The Important People™ who decide if a series continues based on the dollars (or yen) it brings in.

Now, some of the more astute among you who’ve followed me a while may ask if I ever did the whole looking-for-the-free-online-chapters thing.

In the interest of honesty and transparency, yes. For a grand total of a week, when I first began writing A Noble Soul. I justified it because I needed info while I was writing A Noble Soul.

And then I felt awful. 

Here I was, gleefully squeeing about how much I loved this series, but I wasn’t willing to shell out for it? (Outside of my $5.99/month FUNimationNow subscription?) Especially considering how much money I actually make nowadays?

Nope. Time to stop being a hypocrite, and to put my money where my mouth was. Literally.

So I went back and bought all the paperback releases that were out so far, and the electronic chapters available where the paperbacks stopped at the time. To the tune of a couple hundred dollars. I have continued to buy each new issue as it’s released, and each new paperback. (Speaking of which, Vol 8 goes on sale on Jul 24th, so pre-order that sucker now like I did!)

You can imagine how much better I felt when roughly six months later, I saw the announcement of SOME NEW AWESOME ROYAL TUTOR GOODNESS TO BE ANNOUNCED IN SEPTEMBER 2018! 

I’m not deluding myself here to think my individual purchase history made that happen. Hells, no. *BUT* if enough people throw money at it, and encourage others to spend money on it, Higasa Akai and Yen Press and The Important People™ will see that it brings in money and will keep this lovely series going.

So, to the RT fandom (at least the ones in North America, I think this also counts for Europe)... if you love the manga, this is the specific search page on Yen Press’ website for the Royal Tutor and all its release dates. (Refresh the page periodically to see updates to said page. The publication cycle is generally centered around the 18th of the month, with the page updated a week before that,) If you click on any given entry, it will open the page for that entry and it will tell you all the places you can get it.

I crossed out Barnes & Noble because fuck them for deliberately firing ALL their full-time employees then offering to hire them back as PART-time just to avoid paying them benefits AFTER giving their CEO a multi-million-dollar bonus.

(Side note - as for WHY you see two listings for each entry, I asked Yen Press that exact question at SakuraCon 2018 - it’s because certain distributors require certain file types to be submitted to them for their electronic readers, and it’s easier to just do it this way. A bit more confusing, but easier overall for Yen Press. If it being a slight PITA means more options for folks to buy stuff, I’ll make do.)

Going to any of the sites listed above will allow you to also ‘backorder’ the previously released chapters.

In closing, to quote my dear Prince Bruno von Granzreich...

“Shall we come together to do what is best for our kingdom? Thank you all, for your time and your attention.”

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

[fuck-customers]

Green block call center agent

Update: As the company is kinda year round that doesn't stop people from calling in. The job is essentially full time seasonal but depending on call flow for the year they keep some of us to take calls even on a slow day I get at least 100 calls in an 8 HR shift. I've only been employed for this specific company since January when tax season started it's now may. The pay is good enough for me it's about $10/hr. My old department payed $11/hr but it was mostly dealing with prescription drug plans. I loved it learned alot of neat things and I was supposed to help people apply for prescription drug plans for my company. The training was fun I met alot of fun ppl made friends and had a fun potluck. That was also a full time seasonal job ah good times. I honestly prefer my old job to the new one. My calls would last anywhere from 30min to the most being an hour long conversation but at least I helped people get affordable plans. Srry off topic but today was just horrible. I come into work feeling nauseous I barely made it to work on time. I have to open up some programs we use before I sign in and set up my phone to take calls. After that the first couple calls are okay but this one takes the cake. A woman called in saying she needed to get in touch with the office in a stern tone. Ok not a problem I ask her can I know the address for the office. From what I gathered she wants the following things answered 1. Is the office open? 2. Is this specific person I'm looking for available 3. Can't u just transfer me to said person? The office is seasonal and is just accepting appointments. I tell her that and she kinda gets irritated. She said it's supposed to be open from ex. (10am-5pm). After tax season is over (April 18th) not all offices have to stay open most people by this time filed their taxes already. Some offices are year round but at reduced hours and you can only go based on their schedules availability. In this case her tax pro was no longer accepting appointments which in short means she's already done for the year and won't be back till the next tax season of 2019. I tell her this and say I could schedule her a callback appointment (they receive a call from a tax pro) or an appointment (you meet tax pro in person) at the office since it says the other tax pros in that office are taking appointments. She snaps when I offer to help her get into contact with this office in the only way I can help. She demands I find the next available office I tell her they're open from 10-4pm she says okay transfer me over now! I let her know that I do not have access to do that and was interrupted. She started saying that I could that I just didn't want to. She said that I was incompetent at my job. Your just a child what kind of person would hire you. You should be fired for not being able to help me. She also said i was r*tarded and a complete waste of her time and I was no use to her. I asked her to refrain from insulting me as I was only trying to help her in the only way I could. Before I could get in another word she hung up on me. The next few calls I started crying and no one wanted to talk to me my voice was wavering and they would hang up on me as soon as they got what they wanted. I let my superiors know and later on in the evening he let me go on break for a bit talked to me asked what went on asked what time I came in so he could listen to that call. All of our calls are monitered and he can look them up since that's his job to grade our calls. He's also gave me pizza to eat in the breakroom. I got better afterwards I had some people compliment me for helping them for simple things and I just felt a weight lift in my chest. I may sound like a robot over the phone sometimes but that doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like shit. My coworkers are pretty understanding they cheered me up as well. We we're telling each other stories of the funniest and dumbest calls we had with clients and how some of us would mute the phone just to swear. While we are expected to have a customer service smile for you over the phone that doesn't mean well tolerate bullshit. Love, just a girl thats stressed enough as it is. Just needed to vent you guys @-@

[myneighborhood-thelake]

Half-Vineman Triathlon 1998

The Snapshot:

Swim: 34:37 reasonable time - I have been skipping Master's lately T1: 3:01 it took a little extra time to stash my wetsuit in the gear bag Bike: 2:39:25 Oh Yeah!  10 minutes faster than projected T2: 1:15 very nice, just as planned Run: 1:59:18 things fell apart here - more later

Total: 5:17:38 beat my 5:30 plan, but could have been faster

Important Items:

1.  Pacing on the run course is bull@#$% (which I will not delve into). 2.  Ibuprofen is a gift directly for [substitute your choice of diety here] (which I will delve into).

Pre-Race Bumped into Kevin Kennedy as he was exiting the 2:00pm pre-race meeting. We both wanted to drive the bike course.  Kevin felt that he would get a better idea of the course by navigating, I can understand a course better when I drive, so it worked perfectly.  Pre-driving the course was an excellent idea (great navigating Kevin).

Funny note:  as we were driving up Chalk Hill Road, we kept asking ourselves - "where is the hill."  After hearing so much about Chalk Hill we were expecting something similar to Mile 41 at Wildflower.  Chalk is not easy, but it is certainly no Mile 41.

I crashed with Albert Li at the Super 8.  Albert really believes in his morning coffee, and he was kind enough to bring me a cup too.  Thanks Albert.

THE SWIM:

As expected, I was a little slower than at Wildlfower and I had to work harder than I wanted to, but it is my fault for skipping my Master's workouts. Time: 34:37

T1

Right on target.  Because of the two transitions at Vineman, you must pack your gear in a marked bag that is transported to the finish.  My wife was unable to make the trip this time, or I would have paid her off to catch my wetsuit at the swim finish.  Packing a wet wetsuit into a plastic bag adds a minute to a normal transition.

Funny Note #2:  I pulled my helmet on and it felt very odd.  Yes, it was on backwards.  I rearranged my helmet and looked up to see a photographer snapping my picture from two feet away.  I will probably be in next year's program with a caption reading:

"Chin strap violations and wearing your helmet backwards will result in disqualification."

THE BIKE:

I had a very simple plan.  Please note that this plan made absolutely no sense to me about two months ago, but I swear that it works

"Hammer that flats and downhills, recuperate on the uphills."

As planned - I hammered every flat and downhill.  When I hit an uphill I sat up and spun (spinned, spurned?) my way to the top.  I noticed an interesting situation among the people who I was riding near.  Some guys would hammer the hills, even getting out of the saddle.  They would pass me by about +2mph on the way up.  When we hit the top of the hills they would be tired and use the descent to catch their breath.  Whereas I would feel pretty fresh at the atop, and on the downhills I would hit my big gears and fly.  They would rest and I would easily pass them with about a +10mph delta.

I held my HR at 170 for about 20+ miles.  After that I slipped back to a more reasonable HR of 160 for the rest of the ride.  I alternated Cytomax (my own) and water (aid stations) in my JetStream, and I ate a Gu every 25-30 minutes.  I admit - I let the tops to the Gu packs fly away in the breeze, but I remembered to stash the empty packets until the aid stations where I discarded them properly.  I think that I ate and drank very well - I never felt either full or low.

The infamous Chalk Hill was a welcome respite from the flats and rollers. I relaxed, geared down and concentrated on a steady uphill pace.  Several people passed me on the climb, BUT surprisingly I also passed a few people on the uphill.  At the crest as many people were gasping for air, I shifted into my big chainring and let fly.

After Chalk, it was downhill for several miles.  Fortunately I really hammered the downhill and I made up some serious time - catching most of the people who passed me on the climb.  Unfortunately the road was rough. I chose to stay aero and the road took its toll.  It felt like I was absorbing most of the bumps with my lower back - more about that later.

Finally the road smoothed out and I had a very nice hammer for the last few miles.  Although it is a little sadistic, it felt great to be side-by-side with some full-IM'ers as we reached the T-intersection.  At the intersection the 1/2 IM'ers go left to the transition area, and the full IM'ers go right for another loop of the bike course.  It felt great to know that the people beside me had another 6+ hours to go and I only had about 2...

T2

No big deal.  I followed the volunteers directions to my bike rack - I could not remember what landmark I had chosen to remember my spot when I had left my run stuff behind 5 hours ago.  I yelled at some guy to get off of my towel, (he was sitting on down on my towel to change his shoes, so I could not get to my stuff until he moved), stuffed some Gu into my singlet and started running.  Based on my overall time, I only had to run a 1:43 to break 5 hours.  I knew that I could hold 7:45's so I was pretty jazzed.

THE RUN:

I started slow and sipped at a water bottle of Cytomax that I had brought with me.  I hit mile 1 at 7:30.  Things were looking good - even going slow I had a great first mile.

Then things went to hell!!!

The muscles in my lower back (right side) decided that it was time to pay me back (pun intended) for the hammering they had suffered on the descent from Chalk Hill.  The muscles siezed up and were very, very painful. Running on flat ground was painful, the downhill sections were bearable and anything uphill was intolerable.  I asked for Ibuprofen at two aid stations, but they had none.  I stopped and stretched, but I could not loosen up my back.  I gave up on the chance of breaking 5 hours.  I kept trudging on.

I saw a teammate leaving the vineyard loop as I entered.  He had started 14 minutes prior to me.  When I got back to that spot I noted that I was actually ahead of him by two minutes.  The relevance of this information will be revealed later.

At another aid station a volunteer offered to run to her car and get me some ibuprofen.  I chose to wait because my back was really hurting, even standing to wait for my drugs was uncomfortable.  I inhaled 800mg of Vitamin I and hit the road.

I saw my buddy again as he was climbing the largest hill on the run course. A few long miles ago I had been 2 minutes up on him.  When I got back to the hill and started climbing it, I realized that I was now 14 minutes down.  The walking, stopping and extra energy that it had taken to run while my back was spasming had taken their toll on my run split.  Around mile six or seven the ibuprofen started to work, and I was finally able to pick up my pace.  Soon after I could run at a reasonable pace I committed a tactical error.

My original race plans called for a steady run with an HR of 165, but no greater than 170.  In an effort to make up some of the time that I had lost due to my back I pushed my run pace so that I was bordering on the edge of my AT.  On a few of the rises I pushed into anaerobic range.  The Vineman course is challenging and it did get warm.  The sun and rolling hills got to me.  At mile 12 I had to walk to get my HR under control.

I started running again and pushed it to the finish line crossing in the aforementioned 5:17:38 (by my watch).

LESSONS LEARNED

1.  Carry ibuprofen on the bike and the run 2.  Do not vary from my original race plan (if possible) 3.  I really do not like people who have someone pace them on the run.... 4.  I will wear socks on the run in Canada - my right instep has no skin at this time.

Cheers all - next stop IMC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[geniuscloud]

Bad Liar- Chapter One

This idea came to me just randomly and I needed to write it!

Genre: Fluff, Angst, and a little suggestive.

Jaebum/JB (GOT7) X Orginal Character

Collage/University AU

Warrnings: May cause slight heart break, and rage towards characters.

May contain: Brief mentions of BTS members.

“Micah, are we done yet?!” JB calls carrying in the last batch of boxes into the dorm room.

“Yes, just set them over in the left bedroom. Hey, thanks again for helping me move my stuff to my dorm. My parents promised they would help but they totally bailed on me again.”

“Yeah, no problem at all, I mean I’ve known them for what now? 10 years? I kind of had a feeling your parents weren’t going to come through. Remember your 14th birthday when they totally left us at the park in the rain and said they couldn’t come pick us up,” Jaebum laughed, sitting down on the couch in the living room.

“Yup, my parents were never reliable.” I flopped down on the black sofa beside him, putting my feet on the box that soon would be the coffee table… You know… Once I build it.

“So, when is your roommate going to be here?”

“Amie said she’d be here around 3pm.”

“Amie was your childhood best-friend, right?” JB questioned, raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah, we grew up together basically until she moved abroad, and you came into my life. It’s such a fluke that she moved back to go to school here. I haven’t seen her in years! I hope she’s just as amazing as I remember and it isn’t super awkward to live together. She needed a roommate though…”

“You moved into the dorm, of a school you’ve gone to since you were nineteen, from a house that’s only 35 minutes away, because your friend was moving back and needed a roommate?”

“Shut up, I just wanted to get away from home anyways. Plus, you can come visit me anytime without my parents being super weird about you being over, especially since you know…”

“Since they find it weird that we are still best friends even though we broke up?” I swallowed hard, trying to push back the awkward feelings. We broke up just over 2 years ago after dating for 4 years. We confessed to each other in the beginning of senior year, and held a strong relationship for the entire time, up until 2 years ago. JB moved out of his parent’s house, while I stayed home. I had university, an internship, a job, and just too much going on in my life to handle a relationship. I started drifting away from him, and neglecting our relationship. JB was doing his music stuff at a different school, and we just didn’t have time for each other. In the end we both thought it was better if we just stayed friends, because even though I loved him, it was just the universes way of saying we were better off as friends. That didn’t mean we didn’t have the occasional cuddling, but everything else was strictly off limits, and it would remain that way.

The room was silent, and we both just stared at the floor until we were interrupted by the door swinging open. Behind a giant stack of boxes stepped out a slender framed girl, with long dyed blonde hair, and with beautiful round eyes. Just looking at her, you would swear she just stepped out of an anime. She wasn’t very tall, but she wasn’t short either. That perfect average height, with most of her height coming from her legs. Straight cut bangs, and lush pink lips gave her the look of adorable innocence, but also had the smirk to make guys stop in their tracks because they considered her sexy. “Amie?” I questioned in shock, quickly rising to my feet.

“Micah?! Oh my gosh, you’re so beautiful! When did you cut your hair?! The last picture you sent me you had such long hair?” She squealed setting the boxes down; her hands instantly going to my long wavy bob haircut. “Still a Burnette I see, not as dark as your eyes though, they are basically black. I’m glad you decided to lighten the brown a little. It makes you look healthier, especially since your natural hair is so dark. Oh my gosh, you have side bangs now?! Cute!”

“Yeah, I just thought it was time for a change. I defiantly need to keep my looks up now since my roommate is so hot. Wow, I’m never going to have a boyfriend with you around” I smiled as we hugged each other. JB cleared his throat, now standing up from the couch and making his way over to us. Amie’s instantly snapped to him, giving him a quick check-out before greeting him properly.

“Hi, I’m Amie, nice to meet you.”

“I’m JB, Micah’s friend.”

“Oh, you’re her friend?” she smiled, putting a little bit of emphasis on the word friend.

“Yeah, I was basically your replacement after you moved away. I’ve heard a lot about you over the years.”

“I didn’t know I was a popular topic. I’ve heard a little about you as well. Micah; why didn’t you tell me more about JB here?” She said shooting me a glance, in other words, ‘why didn’t you tell me he was hot.’

“You didn’t talk about me?” JB pouted slipping his hand into his white hoodie.

“I did, it may have just slipped Amie’s mind” I said, making my eyes a little wider at her. She just giggled in response.

“Do you need any help with anything before I go?” JB asked with a little half smirk.

“Uh actually if you could maybe help with…”

“I was asking Amie” JB said cutting me off. I stepped back a little, my eyes blinking fast in response. I silently replied to myself, feeling a little caught off guard with his blunt statement.

“I just have a few boxes sitting down the hall, do you think you could grab them for me?”

“Sure thing, I’ll be right back” he smiled closing the door behind him. Amie’s eyes followed his broad shoulders, before instantly snapping back to me.

“Okay, why the hell didn’t you tell me JB was so fucking hot? The flip in his bangs, his shoulders? HIS FACE? Where have you been hiding him and oh my God he has piercings too? Could he get any hotter?!”

“I mean I guess he’s attractive… I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of guy though” I mumbled recalling all the pictures of guys she’s ever liked or dated that we would occasionally send each other through high school. All the guys she ever liked were light haired with pale skin and blue eyes. I never thought she’d be attracted to JB, especially since he’s the opposite of every guy she dated.

“That kind of guy? You mean you didn’t think I’d be attracted to actual walking masculine beauty?” She laughed. I just kind of laughed it off, trying to push away a little discomfort I was feeling. “So, he’s just a friend? You don’t have feelings for him?”

“No, I don’t have feelings for him. He’s uh, he’s actually my ex…” I nervous laughed, rubbing the back of my head and forcing my eyes to not look at the ground. Fumbling with the edge of my sweater, I drew my attention back to Amie’s shocked face.

“You’re friends with you ex? Holy crap, I don’t think I could ever do that with any of my ex boyfriends. Why did you guys break up?”

“It just didn’t work out, and we really didn’t have time for each other. The romance just kind of died out because life got busy. We decided it would be better to just stay friends. It was over two years ago though, so we’re both over it.” Amie slid her jean jacket off, and tossed it to the couch, revealing her white tank top and perfect feminine figure. I’m not going to lie, already being around her was a little uncomfortable. Maybe it was because I was mildly annoyed that my childhood best friend was “that girl” who everyone envied because she was so beautiful she could get any person she desired. Maybe it was because she had been here for all of five minutes, and JB already looked at her with more intense desire than he had ever looked at me within our ten years of friendship; four of the years being in an actual relationship. Or maybe it was just because I wasn’t use to the changes going around in my life, but whatever the reason I felt a little sick to my stomach.

“Ah okay, I’ll girl code. Don’t worry” Amie smiled moving some boxes into the kitchen.

“You’ll what?”

“Girl code, you know? Don’t like or date a friends ex…”

“Oh, no-no it’s fine! I don’t care if you like JB, or date him… He’s just my friend, I’m over it. It’s ancient history. I helped unload some boxes into the cupboards, flashing a big smile and rolling up my long black sleeves.

"You’re 100% okay with me hitting on him? You’re not just saying that because we’re friends, right?” She questioned.

“Nope! I’m totally okay with it, in fact, I’ll set you two up.”

What the actual fuck am I saying?

Please let me know what you think, any kind of feedback will be greatly appreciated.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #119 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Spoilers Below

Have I Seen It Before: Yes.

Did I Like It Then: Yes.

Do I Remember It: Yes.

Did I See It In Theaters: No

Edit: At the time of writing this I did not see the film in theaters, but have recently.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #565.

Format: DVD

1) Starting this comedy/noir film off with what appears to be an animated cartoon from the 40s is a good way of establishing tone for a few reasons. First of all it tells us what kind of toons Roger and company are. The kind that star in short after short after short like Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny, as opposed to say the Care Bears (it was the 80s, so I’m going with that example) who had a TV Show and a movie. It also introduces us to Roger, Baby Herman, the idea of ACME in cartoons, and Maroon studios. Also the film’s excellence in slapstick is there from the get go.

2) But as soon as the cartoon is over, we’re in the “real” world. This film has a slight bit of edge to it that I wildly appreciate. Not like Martin Scorsese edge, but come on. This is a film starring animated characters that has swearing, murder, sexual innuendo galore, and an alcoholic main character. For example in the original version of the film (now edited out): after Baby Herman walks under the skirt of a female employee on set, his finger is extended upward and has some liquid on it. That is VERY adult but will go over the heads of children.

3) According to IMDb:

Joel Silver's cameo as the director of the Baby Herman cartoon was a prank on Disney chief Michael Eisner by Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg. Eisner and Silver hated each other from their days at Paramount Pictures in the early '80s, particularly after the difficulties involved in making 48 Hrs. (1982). Silver shaved off his beard, paid his own expenses, and kept his name out of all initial cast sheets. When Eisner was told, after the movie was complete, who was playing the director - Silver was nearly unrecognizable - he reportedly shrugged and said, "He was pretty good."

4) Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant.

Eddie is a wildly interesting character. He’s a former goofball who has kept his sharp tongue for wiseass remarks and being a pain in the ass, which is always appreciated by me. His conflict is incredibly interesting (more on that later) and he’s just a great character to follow around in this world.

Bob Hoskins is perfect for this role. I’ll go into detail on this later but his interactions with the cartoon characters look easy when they’re not, and Hoskins is able to balance the sourpuss aspect of Eddie’s personality with the wiseass, heartache, alcoholism, and former goofball in a complete package.

According to IMDb:

On the Special Edition DVD, Robert Zemeckis recounts that he had stated in a newspaper interview that Bill Murray was his and producer Steven Spielberg's original choice for the role of Eddie Valiant, but neither could get in contact with him in time. Bill Murray, in turn, has stated that when he read the interview he was in a public place, but he still screamed his lungs out, because he would have definitely accepted the role.

I think Hoskins can’t be replaced though.

5) This film is more of a noir film than an animated fantasy. You have your archetypes like RK Maroon begin the big money slime, Judge Doom is the shady government official, and Jessica Rabbit it the femme fatale. This is felt in every aspect of the film, from the cinematography right down to Alan Silvestri’s wonderful music.

6) Remember how I said Eddie had a great conflict?

Angelo [bar patron who Eddie flipped out on]: “What’s his problem?”

Dolores [Eddie’s sort-of-girlfriend and bar owner]: “Toon killed his brother.”

Like that is such a strange idea, a murderous toon, and it provides such great conflict for Eddie. A conflict which we see laid out before us when the camera takes the time to look at all the stuff on his and Teddy’s desk. You SEE that Eddie is in pain, and without a flashback you see the guy he used to be when his brother was around. The fun goofball who liked working Toontown and helpings toons out. To go from that to where he is now takes a lot of heartbreak.

7) I love that the password to get into the Ink & Paint Club is, “Walt sent me.”

8) Daffy and Donald Duck.

This is the first (and to date only) time cartoon characters owned by Warner Brothers and Disney have appeared in a film together. Since the film was being made by Disney, WB only allowed to have their characters show up if the major characters had the same amount of screen time as the Disney characters. That’s why Donald/Daffy and later Mickey/Bugs always share the screen together.

As a kid THIS was my favorite part of the film! The crossover aspect. Getting to see characters interact who normally don’t. AND they got the official actors at the time to voice them. Mel Blanc voices all his Looney Tunes characters, Tony Anselmo is Donald, and Wayne Allwine is Mickey Mouse. These aren’t cheap cameos, these are the genuine articles and that’s amazing!

9) There are also some appearances by non-Disney/non-WB characters, such as Betty Boop.

I think the inclusion of Betty is a nice way to pay respect to the early days of studio animation, and her original voice actress was still alive at the time so she got a chance to reprise the character.

10) Jessica Rabbit.

Before anything else, I would just like to point out that Jessica’s proportions are PURPOSEFULLY impossible. I think that this is done to play into the idea of her being a femme fatale, but more so even to critique some of the ridiculous bodies animated female characters have (but that last part may just be wishful thinking on my part). Kathleen Turner unfortunately does not get credit for her voiceover work as Jessica, which is a shame because she gives the character so much of her heart and intrigue. When she’s just the femme fatale Jessica’s a bit of a stereotype but by the end of the film she becomes truly interesting to me because she doesn’t just fill that role. There’s also a fan theory about Jessica I’m totally onboard with, but more on that later.

11) Robert Zemeckis’ films are marked for their incredible special effects, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit is no exception. Ask yourself: every time an animated character opens a door, or moves a desk, or splashes water, or bumps into a lamp, or (in the case of Jessica) pulls Eddie close to them by his tie and then lets him go, how did they do that on set? Because they had to! CGI is not a factor in this film. The animation is done by drawing over the film that was shot in the traditional fashion, but everything else had to be done practically on set. It’s so subtle and so natural that I marvel at it every time.

12) Okay, I love the theory that Jessica Rabbit is asexual. If you want to read the full post click the link above but here are the basic points of argument:

She’s in love with a rabbit because he makes her laugh.

She uses her body to get things she wants from people, but outside of that doesn’t she interest in anybody.

Her line, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Her line, “You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.”

The only thing that really contradicts the theory is that later in the movie Eddie says to Jessica that Roger is a better lover than a driver, to which she replies, “You better believe it buster.” But I can easily see that as her defending his loving husband side instead of any sexual prowess.

13) Another thing that supports the asexual Jessica theme is that instead of her doing anything sexual with Marvin Acme, she plays Patty Cake with him. Like literally, patty cake.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

That is a joke I did not understand as a child.

14) I haven’t talked too much about Roger’s voice actor yet, Charles Fleischer.

During filming, Charles Fleischer delivered Roger Rabbit's lines off camera in full Roger costume including rabbit ears, yellow gloves and orange cover-alls. During breaks when he was in costume, other staff at the studios would see him and make comments about the poor caliber of the effects in the "rabbit movie".

Fleischer’s voice IS Roger in so many ways. All he can do to deliver Roger’s heart is speak, and Fleischer’s performance in this film is not to be underwritten because it is amazing. It is full with such life, such heart, and a surprising amount of honesty. It works brilliantly.

15) You have to keep your eyes open for the little innuendos in this film. For example, when Eddie meets Jessica at the crime scene he quickly peeks down at her boobs. This is the first time I’ve ever noticed that and I’ve seen this film a lot.

16) Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom.

Director Robert Zemeckis had worked with Lloyd on their most iconic film Back to the Future (where Lloyd played Doc Brown), and now Lloyd gets to show off his villainous side. He is wonderfully and gleefully evil, showing no remorse and has a cartoon like quality which makes the bad guy work wonderfully in the role. He’s just threatening enough but also just funny enough. And Lloyd never phones it in once. It’s a fantastic performance through and through.

16.5) Can we talk about how this judge just murdered a cartoon shoe for no other reason than to show that he could and no one stopped him. Like, is the shoe technically a prop and so it doesn’t count as murder? Because that thing seems more alive than a prop!

17) So I talked about Roger’s voice actor but not much about Roger as a character yet.

Roger is a pure cartoon character, and I mean that in a sort of literal sense. He’s not tainted by greed or hatred, he is pure joy and humor. A bit of a dunce but he trusts people and WANTS to see the best in them. His entire purpose in life is to make people life and that feeds every decision he makes. It’s a wonderful cartoon counterpart to Hoskins as Eddie.

18) Hoskins’ interactions with Roger is where he shines. Because remember, Hoskins was not on set with Rogers. He was looking at an empty space which would be drawn in latter. But when you watch the film he’s never looking through the space. He’s miming it excellently, he is looking AT an animated character who isn’t even there yet. It’s amazing and the key reason he excels in the role.

19) I never caught this line before.

Roger [asking Eddie for help]: “You know there’s no justice for toons anymore.”

So toons are sort of a disenfranchised minority. That’s an interesting concept. If there’s a sequel maybe they’ll play with it.

20) According to IMDb:

When Eddie takes Roger Rabbit into the back room at the bar where Dolores works to cut apart the hand-cuffs, the lamp from ceiling is bumped and swinging. Lots of extra work was needed to make the shadows match between the actual room shots and the animation. Today, "Bump the Lamp" is a term used by many Disney employees to refer to going that extra mile on an effect just to make it a little more special, even though most audience members will never notice it.

21) @theforceisstronginthegirl, this is for you:

(GIF originally posted by @i-am-the-wallflower)

Nothing sums up Roger more than the fact that he can only get out of those handcuffs when it’s funny. It feeds into how Roger entertains all the guys at the tavern because they’re down on their luck, even though they could turn him over to Doom for a ton of cash (but they don’t). He believes in the power of laughter.

22)

Judge Doom [upon observing the record on the record player]: “‘The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down’. Quite a looney selection for a bunch of drunken reprobates.”

“The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down” is the theme to the Looney Tunes shorts.

23) The rest of the bar scene is filled with so many great cartoon gags. The fact that Judge Doom is able to lure Roger out by having him respond to, “Shave and a haircut,” is great. But a subtler reference is how Eddie gets Roger to drink the alcohol and loose control (thereby freeing himself from Doom). They go back and forth where Eddie wants Roger to drink the drink but Roger doesn’t want it, but when Eddie says Roger DOESN’T want the drink Roger says he wants it just to continue the conflict. Sound familiar?

24) Benny the cab is another fun original character added to the film, and he’s the same voice over actor as Roger!

25) I find this hysterical.

Benny [right before they’re going to hit a car]: “Pull the lever!”

Eddie: “Which one?”

Roger: “Which one?”

Benny: “‘WHICH ONE?’!?”

26) I am so ashamed of myself that I never caught the Back to the Future reference this film makes! Benny is driving down an alleyway and the evil weasels are driving straight towards him, and one of the weasels declares, “I’m gonna ram him!” Well in Back to the Future (also directed by Robert Zemeckis) Biff Tannen is about do the same thing to Marty McFly and says the EXACT same line as we get the EXACT same shot of his car!

I love that.

27) Me too Roger, me too.

Roger [expecting another cartoon to play in the movie theater but it’s a news reel]: “I hate the news.”

28) When we were introduced to Roger in the opening cartoon, I was trying to dissect what made him a unique cartoon character. Like Donald has his temper tantrums, Bugs Bunny is a wise guy, and Roger I’ve discovered likes to go on tangents. Like someone will tell him to do something and he’ll talk for five minutes about how well he’ll do it even when no one is around to listen. I like that.

29) The animated bullets Eddie uses in the gun given to him by Yosemite Sam are very much in the style of Chuck Jones and I can appreciate that.

30) It’s pretty fun watching for all the animated characters the filmmakers inserted into Toontown.

31) Droopy Dog is another cartoon character who shows up despite not being owned by Disney or WB. This meant he got to show up again later in an animated Roger Rabbit cartoon.

32) When Eddie is in a Toontown bathroom there’s writing on the wall that says, “For a Good Time Call Alyson ‘Wonderland’,” but then there’s no phone number. The theatrical release DID have a phone number but it was Michael Eisner’s home phone (I think) so it was edited out for the home video release.

33) What could possibly top Donald Duck & Daffy Duck dueling pianos?

I love everything about this. But it also gets to another agreement between WB & Disney: Disney did not want any of their characters doing anything to harm Eddie, so that’s why when he gets the “spare” from Mickey & Bugs (it’s a spare tire but he thought it was a parachute) it is BUGS who gives it to him!

Honestly it’d be awesome if Disney and WB could make more crossover cartoons. That would be pretty awesome.

34) File this one under jokes I didn’t get as a kid:

35) So Judge Doom’s end goal, his whole villainous plan, is to construct...a freeway? God, if it weren’t for the twist coming up that would’ve been so stupid.

36) Eddie’s comedy routine is great. It shows Bob Hoskins’ skill at slapstick and goofball and is just a joy to watch. Also we get this fun line:

Eddie: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

[bottle falls on his head]

Roger: Nose!

Head Weasel: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."

Eddie: No, but this does. [kicks Head Weasel in the balls, propelling him into a vat of Dip]

37) Doom is a toon!

This is a nice twist in the film that you can totally see was setup if you’re looking for it. Christopher Lloyd is able to play Doom with an even bigger sense of cartoony evil, and it means his end goal of a freeway isn’t so stupid after all.

38) The train that hits the dip machine at the end has a bunch of window. If you go through it frame by frame, each window depicts someone being murdered. Fun fun fun.

39) According to IMDb:

The opening track on the Sting album "...Nothing Like the Sun", the song "The Lazarus Heart" was originally written as the movie's musical finale, at an early stage of the movie's production when the book's tragic ending, where Roger is killed in the crossfire during the final duel, was still in the script. When the studio ordered its default ending to be used at the film's end, in which Roger is alive at the end of the duel, however, the song was deleted from the script and ended up on Sting's album instead.

40) I like that the film ends not only with the classic, “That’s All Folks,” but also Tinkerbell to let us know this was special.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is awesome. It’s fun, funny, gives us interesting characters, has effects which stand the test of time even 29 years later, and is just a wonderful ride. Hoskins’ performance and the animation are the true standouts here, but that is not to discredit any of the other amazing aspects of the film. A true joy to watch all the way through.

[pendragonness]

If anyone wants a novel-length recap on my (limited) adventures at the Sundance Film Festival... (I’ll throw in some photos to keep it interesting)

I am. so exhausted. I was exhausted after the first three days, and it never really calmed down. Between working all day, and a couple late night/early morning shifts, then having to commute back to the town with my hotel, and back in the morning, I never got more than 4 hrs of sleep a night and sometimes less. And the only actual meal I usually ate was a rushed breakfast from the hotel, then my food was just snacking on granola bars or half a bagel, and that was the day. I’m fucking beat.

But I did see 14 films, so, there’s that! The first night of the festival I went to I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore, because a) there were only a few films showing and it sounded the most decent, and b) it stars Elijah Wood so I thought he might be there. He was. I saw Elijah Wood in person. It was unexpected and alarming and delightful. I also got to ask the director a question during the Q&A and made kind of a mess of the question bc Elijah Wood was being forced to hear me speak and that freaked me out, but

lmao little did I know what the next night was gonna be

So like a month ago when I made the post about having learned that Max Riemelt had a film showing at Sundance and was like, ‘does that mean he’ll be there, pls, etc etc..’ I was totally bullshitting myself. He wasn’t actually supposed to be there, guys. I wasn’t prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared to accidentally sit in the row in front of him, four seats to the side. I wasn’t. prepared.

I was talking to my friend and looked across the room and stopped midsentence bc

And I stared, a lot. So much. The ‘friend’ I’d made definitely wasn’t understanding my lack of focus on her and didn’t really care that I was having a crisis about Max Riemelt being approx. 8 feet away from me for the night. He was on his own, seated next to the director and producer, and just idly looked around and flexed his jaw constantly??? A couple times someone in the crew would talk to him and he’d be all laughs and smiles and omf. There was a moment where I was definitely gawking again - so overwhelming, guys - and he turned around and caught my gaze immediately and kind of gave that look like when you think someone’s said something but you didn’t quite hear it? which made me jump basically and look away bc I’d been caught, but we definitely made glancing-eye-contact a few more awful times and I was just so not chill. During the film (Berlin Syndrome; fantastic, btw) I was still not chill and kept casually glancing to my slight right, going from watching Max Riemelt on screen to watching Max Riemelt watch Max Riemelt on screen. aheruhgf. It was delightful. 

And then, right as the climax was building in the last 5 minutes of the film - it froze. Just stopped. The audience gasped, I looked over and Max had his hands over his eyes lmao. But it stayed frozen, the house lights came up...and then it played - having skipped ahead to the middle of the final climax. Then froze again, and I saw Max mouth “what the fuck” then just stare up at the lights akjehrujf. And then he and the director walked off, presumably to talk to tech people, and the film skipped to show us the end. So they cut it off, and we had the Q&A, which was very sympathetic (Max commented about being so upset he was shaking at the fuck up) but also fun, Teresa Palmer was really cheery and talkative and Max was pretty funny and damn cute (he was re-enacting the musical score at one point, that was something, omg) and there were good questions and discussion - altho the freaking director pointed at me for my question and then the producer said things were working again, and we were going to finish the film so I never got to have my moment but ok. 

(literally every venue intentionally creates the WORST FUCKING LIGHTING FOR PHOTOS)

And then at the end of the film, because apparently Teresa and Max aren’t important enough to need the security barrier like everyone else I saw, they were all just chilling in their seats as the audience walked out, so I got to walk past Max and had about half a second to realize I could talk to him if I wanted (it’s kind of acknowledged as common courtesy to leave the talent alone at screenings, or just give them a little space, so I had kept quiet in my 5 min of freaking out before the film started. altho now of course I wish I’d just had the balls to say something simple. I wanted to bring up Freier Fall so freakin badly but like. how would that have worked lmao.), but was that okay?? what to say? all I could think about was trying NOT to gush some ‘I LOVE YOU SO MUCH’ shit, so naturally that’s all I could think to say ajeryiuehf and then panicked because I had zero time, so I just garbled out some sort of “thank you so much, that was a beautiful film, thanks” and the director nodded and smiled but Max just stared and nodded and said “thank you” and I stumbled away before I could go super red in the face or god knows what because I was stressed and so fucking overwhelmed. Honestly seeing Max in real-life-person overwhelmed me more than anyone else I saw, and I saw a fair few people, somehow. I think I’ve decided it’s something to do with him being a foreign actor? Like, he’s supposed to always be in Europe, not somewhere where I could encounter him. Not my first fucking year at Sundance. And then the fact he actually made eye contact with me a few times and vaguely spoke at me......lmao what the fu c k

And then the next night I went to the premiere screening of the #1 film I had wanted to see at Sundance, Wind River. That screening went like it was supposed to, and I got to ask Taylor Sheridan about setting the film in Wyoming and such and the answers were wonderful and there was fantastic discussion and it was a fucking wonderful film and I tried so hard to see it more than once but my fucking work schedule made that impossible, whatever, I’ll wait 9 months or however long it takes. 

One of the stand-outs of that night though (other than Gil Birmingham being there, which also super delighted me) was when Jeremy Renner was asked to explain how he approached and portrayed the emotions his character has to do deal with, and in answering the (fairly average) question, he choked up and had to step away from the mic for a second to pull himself together. Everything he said in his answers to questions was just really emotional, interesting stuff, and that response was especially overwhelming. The film knocked the breath out of me, but the Q&A made sure I didn’t catch it back. That was amazing.

So I knew the rest of the festival had to just be downhill, and technically it was, but I still enjoyed everything. The next best film was probably Call Me By Your Name, which I had planned on seeing a couple weeks ago, largely because I can be superficial and dumb and queer Armie Hammer in Italy sounded majorly appealing. I was torn between two different screenings, because I couldn’t go to the premiere since that was one of my two night shifts - and then a really awful snow storm was coming in, so my boss told anyone who had to drive a distance that they could leave early. She tried to let me leave super early into the shift, and I felt bad that they were going to be really short staffed on such a late, busy night (we were hosting the premiere of some awful film about The Grateful Dead and the band was going to be there) and I didn’t know what I’d do with so much freaking spare time anyway, so I said I’d be okay and I’d stay. And two hours later I realized I fucking. could have actually gone to the premiere of Call Me By Your Name. I think it’s the only film (that I wasn’t working) I went to see that wasn’t the fucking premiere. And I cannot let that go. whatever.

also shout out to Casey Affleck for not being at Sundance and therefore I missed seeing what would definitely have been a better film (A Ghost Story was definitely Not Good) and was deprived of seeing Keanu Reeves in person because I thought I’d get to see Casey and that was a waste!! gdi.

Those were honestly the ‘important’ parts of the fest for me. My body hurts like hell from standing mostly stationary for 7-10 hrs a day every day for the past 7 days, my health and skin are awful because my eating habits mostly didn’t exist and weren’t good when they did, I could sleep for 3 days if I was allowed to, and I don’t feel at all interested in shit here, but I still can’t believe I had that experience. I do plan to apply next year, even though after the first two days I wasn’t sure I could actually handle that, and the amount of hours I worked really did interfere with seeing some films and that irritates me, but we’ll see. 

I also came to the realization that hearing other ‘filmmakers’ my age-ish talk about films and the industry and their beliefs and goals and shit really stresses me out + annoys the hell out of me. Most of them come across as really pretentious and fucking miserable and I despise it all pretty quick. Or I feel like I’m totally lost and talentless and there’s no hope for me. But it’s the actors I get most excited about, that excite me the most (other than Taylor Sheridan - he gave me fresh life, I swear). It’s hearing how the actors work and understanding how they approach their work, and imagining what it’d be like to work with them and see my writing or vision or whatever become real through them that excites me. I found myself ditching films I wanted to see for the sake of going to premieres to see actors I really like. Which is definitely not the purest approach to filmmaking, but whatever... It was just an epiphany I had, I guess. Not sure where that’s gonna go.

The festival did also help me re-focus about filmmaking too. I’ve fallen way too into routine here, with the country club and the unending monotony of my weekly schedule. I finally feel like I CAN start to write the scripts I’ve been wanting to start for months. I’m actually excited to start job hunting. I don’t feel as nervous at the prospect of moving, if that happens. And - really great - I’m mentally reset about a lot of things lately i.e. The Work Guy. I literally don’t care at all now, am not interested or bothered by anything. I am totally refreshed and have my regular priorities back.

I’ve come away from Sundance feeling predictably ‘inspired’ and totally exhausted and wanting to always gawk at real-life-person Max Riemelt and always hear Jeremy Renner talk about life (he seems so lovely, wtf) but also mentally and emotionally reset and I hope those are all good things

[some-far-far-away-land]

Chesca’s Current Status

This weekend was amazing and gave me so much happiness, something I feel like I haven’t been in a long time. You know that the rest of this post is gonna explain why lol

So earlier last week I heard that a friend was selling tickets to the Alex Aiono and William Singe concert that I had been eyeing since like I think December or January, whenever they had released their tour dates. I was debating about it but by the time I decided tickets sold out already. So when I heard about my friend selling her ticket, the whole week I thought about it. I told her I’d tell her by Friday night. The week goes by and I was still debating, I was pretty broke and i knew if I went I would spend a lot of money on like getting there and back, and then food, and subway. What actually made me decide was that after class friday Nat Jose and I went for coffee with our old Don and I mentioned I was debating in going to toronto for this concert and Nat was like, “yo, lets go, i need a getaway and celebrate finishing design.” Plus Nellie was throwing a late bday party for Paul Saturday but I knew that Lisa would be there and that Thavi could potentially be there too. I honestly just didn’t want another repeat of gfx. I wouldn’t have been comfortable and I didn’t want that to translate on a celebration. Plus thinking about being in the same room as those two made me really anxious. I mean I know I didn’t do anything wrong but its the bad vibes and negativity I know those two people have for me that would make me uncomfortable. I mean if you had a choice I think you would choose a weekend in toronto by yourself, going on a few dates and going to see one of you favourite Youtube singers live, over a few hours of not knowing how to act around two people who use to be the closest people in your life who have now come to hate you for who know what reasons? 

So yea after a night of drinking and dancing at Phil’s with Nat, Jon, and Jose, which by the way was super fun because of the drunken talks and the company. Nat and I ventured off to Toronto Saturday morning. We went and got Pho in Chinatown, and then went to Eaton’s to shop and pick up some stuff. We ate there and didn’t go to Celene and Abby’s place till around 6pm. Funny story about where we ate for dinner. We went to the like cafeteria type place. I went to the coffee and pastry section since I was still full from Pho. I got an iced latte with a cheesecake. While I was in line, there was a hella rude customer who was on his phone telling the guy behind the counter (who was pretty cute btw) that he wanted more syrup on his waffle. He was also waiting for his drink and when the girl called it out he didn’t think it was his, when it clearly was. When he had left the cute guy behind the counter and another co-worker who I realized were filipino started talking about how rude he was. I listened and laughed cuz I know their struggles too and when the guy gave me my drink i smiled and said Salamat, and he was thrown off by it and he smiled back and I went on my merry way. 

Conversation with Nat was pretty good, we go pretty deep into my stuff, just with dating again and how I had been feeling the past few weeks. After that we went back and I redid my make up and taxied to the venue. I thought I was gonna be late but the show didn’t start till 8pm, line just started to move at 7pm. We get into the venue and its just standing so no seats. Its pretty packed and it was cold in there. I was supposed to meet up with my friend Jezeth but she was in the middle and I couldn’t find her so I just chilled where I was. When alex came out I had an amazing view of him, like most of the people there were girls who were with their girl friends or girls with their boyfriends, plus most of the people were asian so they were all shorter then me all I had to do was tippy toe a bit and I could see alex so well! The girls I ended up standing with and eventually befriending were super fun! They were drinking too so their vibes were legit and we danced and fangirled the whole time together! 

So let me talk about Alex, this man, omg he was so much cuter in person, his smile 10x warmer and his voice.... like fuck me, lol Like I thought that it wouldn’t sound as good as his videos but honestly he sounded exactly the same, even better live actually. I could listen to this man sing and play guitar for hours! I totally jus vibed out during his set, really took in the moment and just enjoyed being in the same space as him. *sigh* his gf is so lucky! lol

So after Alex it was obviously William and I only knew him from the songs he and Alex collabed together on. I honestly was not prepared, like this man, was sooooo good live, like his falsetto is on point, his covers were amazing! I love his style, his r&b swag and even his original songs... man. He got me feeling feels too. A little bit into his set my phone died and I actually am so glad it did. I really jus experienced the night and really enjoyed myself without worrying about getting things on camera. I just lived in the moment. I was just so happy and loving life. Alex ended up coming back later on and they sang the songs they did together and I almost died, like I felt like I went to heaven lol

After the concert, which ended around 10:30pm I decided to walk back, well partially. I had to find a place that was open where I could charge my phone. So I went the Tims on College and Yonge. Stayed there for a bit and then took the street car to Abby’s place. Decided to get BK cuz i was hungry and then waited for Nat to come back since she went to go and hangout with Jack while I was at the concert. When she got back we talked a bit before we went to bed. I let her sleep on the bed and I took the ground, which wasn’t bad actually.

So we wake up and we originally planned on having brunch with Jack and Bri but Jack was too sick and Bri’s schedule was too busy so we went for lunch with Celene, her man, and Abby. The place we went to was near Koreatown and we ate at this cute restaurant that had the best eggs benedict I’ve every had in my life. I go mine with baby spinach and the home fries was covered in this sauce and like i died! The conversation was good too and it was nice hanging out with friends. It was such a beautiful day too! Like the nicest day of the year so far I think. I mean I didn’t wear a coat and walked around the whole day. after lunch nat and i walked around koreatown, got my favourite fish dessert and just chilled. She had a carpool a 5pm since she was having dinner with her roomies so she went back first. I actually had a date for that afternoon but he cancelled saying he had worked out too hard in the morning and pretty much felt sick. I wasn’t too bummed about it since I still got to hangout with my friends and eat good food. We’ve been having good conversations on facebook and he seemed sad we couldn’t hangout, but its okay things happen for a reason.

When nat left I went for a bbt date with this guy I had been talking too for a week now. He was Korean and was actually pretty nice and sweet. Like physically he was okay but conversation was nice and he spoke english pretty well despite only living in Korea until like 4 months ago. He was super sweet and even walked me to my subway. it was cute date, i’d talk to him again lol

I was supposed to meet up with other friends for dinner but they cancelled last minute because something came up. Another guy I’ve been talking to for a week asked if I was free to grab dinner since he wanted to see me while I was still in town. I said yes of course, and we ended up getting dim sum in Chinatown and it was honestly sooooo good! This guy is filipino and he’s one of the ones I enjoy talking to via text all week so i was excited to meet him. He was actually so much better looking in person and his voice, sounds so nice. Like its deep and he has a filipino accent which I didn’t think i’d like but I totally did. Our conversation was so good and i just felt comfortable with him. after dim sum he offered to subway with me all the way to yonge and sheppard. thats like 30 mins on the subway. My carpool was at 10:30 so we went to the meet up spot and the carpool cancels last minute! At first I was annoyed and furious cuz now I’m stuck here till tmrw morning. But what happened after made up for it. 

We subway back to Abby’s place and then we decided that we wanted to walk around for a bit. guys, we ended up walking 3 km together. We went down beverley st. all the way to queen st. down john st., past front st. and all he way down to the harbourfront. We sat by the water for 30 mins, just talking about life, relationships, school, etc. The spontaneous nature of the whole night was something I honestly have never done before. Probably one of the best first dates I’ve had. we ended up walking up spadina from the rogers centre and made a full circle back to Abby’s place. We walked for 3 hrs almost. When we said our goodbyes he hugged me so tight and I was gonna kiss him on the cheek but i ended up giving him a peck on the lips, and then he hugged me again and then this time he kissed me and then just walked away all shy like. It was so cute and like the best way to end my night.

I went to sleep around 2am I think. Woke up at noon, and went and got starbucks with celene and her man. Then took a go train to bramalea and then a bus to kitchener go, then the 8 bus to asian grocery, then walked to campus and made it for the 5pm meeting. We then set up at 6pm for our event, and then EOT was at 7PM-10PM.

So that was my weekend getaway with myself. Honestly I’m so happy I decided to go away, even though now i’m hella broke, it was so worth it. I mean like I finally know what I want to do and what I’m gonna tell my parents my plan is. This weekend gave me motivation to get my shit together and just go after what I want to do and what I want to pursue. I swear I’m meant to live in Toronto and based of the events of this weekend I feel like in my gut its where I’m supposed to be.

I plan on going back in 2 weeks, after I’ve made some money and you know finished school stuff lol

[ecotone99]

[HR] The Ballad of Lennon.

I might be getting senile in my old age. That, or I’ve turned into one of those sentimental types. I can’t rightly tell which one I am, and at this point, I dunno which one is worse. But whether I’m sentimental or just plain old senile, lately I’ve felt the need to get my stories on paper. Document them for another generation, and all that, you know? Might seem a bit vain, but if no one wanted to hear my stories, you wouldn’t be here with that tape recorder, now would you?

But you’re not here for me. You’re here to talk about the band. All you reporters just want that, wanting to know what happened. Nagging me day in and day out, filling up my mailbox and standing outside my gate for days on end. Wanting to be the first to report on it for over ten years.

I gotta say, when I saw your letter, I nearly chucked it in the fire with all the others. Yet here you are. Don’t think you’re special or anything, though, I didn’t pick you over the others for any particular reason. Heck, I don’t even know why I picked you.

Guess I’m just growing senile.

Hope you brought lunch. This is gonna be a long one, and I ain’t gonna tell it again.

Let’s see. Where do I start. Guess with the man who started it all. Lennon. Tall, skinny. Had eyes so dark you’d swear they were black. Curly, black hair, down to his back. He was the leader. Lead guitarist, lead vocalist. Had his face on the front of every cover. The man was the reason that we existed in the first place, so I guess being the face of the band was his come-uppance.

We met at a frat party back in college. I caught him almost fist deep in my girlfriend at the time. Almost punched him square in his mouth, was winding up my swing for it when he just sauntered out of the bed, walked up to me, clapped me on the shoulder and offered me his girlfriend. To make up for it.

We became best friends.

Then came Johnny. Odd guy, can’t quite remember how we picked him up, but I do remember one day stumbling our way back home from a party with him in tow. Guy didn’t go to our college, hell, I don’t even think he stayed in town. All I can tell you is, he stayed with us from then on, living off of cup noodles and stealing our deodorant. Guy could hold a rhythm like no other, though. He’d tap away on the counter with a fork, while waiting for his noodles to cook. Perfect beat, every time. Tap tap tap.

We fucked around in college together for a bit, missing lectures and taking every opportunity to get drunk. Lennon was one of those rare extroverts who can just fit in, who knows just what to say to you.

Then it happened. One day, Johnny and I were in the apartment, just shooting the shit on the couch, when Lennon burst in through the door. He chucked his bag in the corner, pointed to each of us, and said: “We’re starting a band.”

Johnny was on board in a heartbeat. I was still a bit on the fence, but when Lennon wanted something, Lennon got it.

“Come on, man! Think of it, us on stage in front of thousands. Women falling to their knees. Us raking in the money. Just us three, you on bass, Johnny on drums!”

Oh did Johnny get a kick outta that. He grabbed two pencils and just started whacking the table with ‘em. Snapped both of ‘em in half, nearly got my fucking eye with it.

“Sex, drugs and rock and roll man. We’ll be unstoppable.”

Lemme tell ya, Lennon could’ve sold bullshit to a bullshitter. I could picture it, us on stage, him wailing on the mic while I strummed a sweet tune. Girls throwing themselves at us, major labels spending money on us. It was the dream, and he made it seem so easy. So obtainable.

I agreed, and the band was formed. Lennon stole a guitar from the girl he was seeing at the time, I spent the cash my parents gave me for textbooks on a bass, and Johnny showed up the next day lugging a brand-new drum kit.

We practiced for hours on end, fondling our new kit like schoolboys on their first date. Dogs would bark at us from the street, our neighbors banged on our door daily. Our landlord wanted to evict us.

Man, we were terrible. If it wasn’t for Lennon’s feverish encouragement, I would’ve gone back to the music store and returned the bass straight away. Gotten my money back and spent it on books, or booze.

Then it happened. Lennon burst through the door, waving his arms around, a flyer in his hands.

We got a gig.

It was some crummy corner bar, where the floor smelled like piss and the beer tasted like it. But to us, it was the smell of success. $10 for the night, paid at the end. I can still remember how much my heart beat, felt like I was gonna have a stroke.

You should’ve seen him. I’ll tell you, Lennon was born for the stage. He’d move, he’d dance, he’d rile up the crowd and make ‘em scream, all while never missing a beat. We played like shit, but boy we played. Didn’t matter that you couldn’t hear a damn thing over the sound of Johnny smashing his drums, the crowd was under Lennon’s spell.

At the end of the night, we packed up, picked up our $10 and walked back to the apartment.

That’s how fame starts, man. Everyone dreams of sex, drugs and rock and roll, but in the beginning, it’s more like an over-the-fabric rubdown and a bad hangover.

But with that, Lennon pushed even harder. We dropped out, just sitting in our room and playing the days away. Lennon kept finding us gig after gig. A local bar one night, a competition another, someone’s birthday party the next week.

Soon enough, we got a bit better, and people started to take notice.

Someone was willing to give us a chance. Opening act for another band. Stadium packed with two thousand people.

Lennon barely slept all that week. Just stayed up all night, silently strumming his guitar. He had stars in his eyes, man. It was gonna be his big moment.

The night before the gig, we went out to celebrate. Lennon took us to this shady bar way out the city. One of those middle of nowhere type places, you know, where the jukebox is barely spluttering on, the bartender has no teeth, and the only other guy in the place is either sleeping, or dead. We arrived with another guy, our lift, and got absolutely smashed.

“Gentlemen, tomorrow marks the beginning!” Lennon shouted to us, holding his mug high. He was absolutely glowing.

Like a star.

We knocked back our drinks. The beer was warm, but it was cheap. We carried on like that the rest of the night, us chugging the mugs and then screaming at our dear, mute bartender for another.

I can’t remember what happened, but at some point Lennon managed to rightfully piss off our lift. The guy started screaming, so he reacted in typical Lennon fashion, swinging a fist into the guy’s jaw. Guy walked out the bar with a black eye and just got in his car and left. Not that we cared, by that point.

As we got well into the morning, we decided to say goodbye to our toothless friend, promising him a new set of dentures when we got famous. It was a three hour walk back to town in the pitch black, and it had to get started at some point.

There was something magical in that night, walking down that lonely dirt road back to town. The only light coming from the moon and the tips of our smokes.

About an hour in, we spotted something just a little ways off the road underneath some trees. We stopped and stared at it, solid black in the night and unnaturally square. We looked at each other and nodded, deciding to investigate.

It was a house. Well, what was left of one. The windows were smashed and the door was hanging half open, inviting us in.

"How the fuck did we miss this?" Lennon asked, as he took a tentative step up the rickety steps.

Honestly, I dunno how we missed it when we drove by. It wasn't far off the road, and it wasn't exactly small.

"Let's check it out." he said, as he lit his lighter, holding it up high. "Shall we?"

He stepped inside, Johnny following behind him. I hung back though, something in my gut just told me not to go.

I've never been afraid of the dark, and I've never been the superstitious type, but that house was bad news.

But I could hear ‘em skulking around the place, moving shit about, shouting at each other and having fun. Against my better judgement, I went in.

The place was abandoned, and was for a very long time. We moved from room to room, pocketing whatever looked like it’d fetch a buck or two at the pawn shop. Smashing a few bits of leftover furniture here or there. It looked like it was someone’s home. Or second home. But that someone was fucking loaded, lemme tell ya. Shards of expensive vases littered the massive living room. Whatever furniture that wasn’t smashed yet was expensive and heavy. The type of furniture you hand down to your grandkids.

We passed through the kitchen, disappointed that there wasn’t any China sets left over, and made our way through each room. There was a corridor that had all these rooms on each side, and we went through them one by one.

After about an hour we got to the last door, all the way at the end. We stood in front of it momentarily, eyeing each other. Something was different about that room, and we could feel it. Though we didn’t know what.

Lennon opened the door.

It was a studio. A legitimate, fully-kitted home recording studio. Foam covered every surface of the wall, and there was the sound booth out to the side. We could see a mic stand still sitting in the center of it, through the little glass window. Lennon lost it, he was like a kid in a candy store just jumping around and checking out every corner of the room.

Most of everything of value was already gone, but I picked up a pretty sweet guitar stand, while Lennon went to get the mic stand. He walked into the sound booth and grabbed it, the door swinging shut on its own behind him. For a moment he just stood there, staring at something in the corner of the room, mouth wide open. He turned towards us and gestured for us to come in.

Johnny went in first, me following behind him. The door closed behind us, and I noticed how cold the room was. It was like, ten degrees colder in there.

Lennon crept his way to the corner of the room, his frame blocking whatever it was that he was so intrigued by. I could just see the edge of a chair.

“Wow, now this is a find…” he muttered to himself, as he picked up something from it. For a bit he just stood there, back to us, as he checked out whatever it was.

I grew sick of waiting, feeling anxious and impatient, so I walked up to him to get a look.

It was a top hat. Black and old, with a leather strip tied around its crown. A few feathers were stuck through, some long and some so small that I first thought they were dust. You could tell it was very old and used, the leather cracked and aged, but it was well taken care of. Not even a speck of dust on it.

As I got closer, though, I noticed something else. Tied to the front of it was a shrunken, human-like skull, its jaw hanging open as if it was screaming. I had pins and needles racing down my body when I saw it, its hollow eyes just staring back at me.

I didn’t wanna touch the fucking thing. Hell, at that point I just wanted to go home. But Lennon, he was entranced. He stared into that skull, his mouth hanging open, for what felt like hours. Just holding it up.

Like he was under some spell.

I grabbed his shoulder and gave him a shake. I won’t lie, I was freaked out. That seemed to do the trick, though, cus Lennon just shook his head and looked back at me, big grin on his face.

“Man, what a find! Think I’m gonna keep this, it’ll look good on stage!” he said, as he slipped it on his head. “Hey, it fits perfectly! Nice!”

I might have been drunk, but I swear, as that hat touched his head, I saw it shrink down to fit him.

It looked like it was made for him. It suited his curly hair and skinny frame to a T.

We all decided it was time to go. I had goosebumps all over from the cold, and Johnny looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. We made the rest of the way home, our legs burning by the end of it as we got back up to the apartment. Lennon didn’t take that hat off the whole way back.

I said goodnight to everyone, we went to our rooms, and just passed out.

The next day we strummed our little hearts out, trying to get as much practice before the big event as we could. I was dealing with a killer hangover, and Johnny was barely able to keep his eyes open long enough to cook his noodles. Lennon was just as bad off, he came out that room with bags under his eyes, like he didn’t sleep the whole night.

We still sounded like shit, but if we were lucky, the people in the crowd would be too drunk to care.

We packed up our stuff, grabbed a taxi and shot off to the venue. Lennon got the address wrong the first few times, so we got there just in the nick of time, 5 minutes before we were supposed to start. The backstage wired us up, we did some test tunes and a shot for good luck, and we were ready to go.

Just as we were about to go on stage, I caught Lennon sneaking back to his guitar case. He opened it up, pulling out that god awful top hat.

He stood there, staring into it for a bit, before putting it on his head and waltzing on stage.

Man, there’s no better feeling than being on stage in front of thousands. It makes you wanna shit yourself and have a heart attack, sure, but you’ll never find another rush like that. You feel the crowd, feel their energy and their excitement. If you pluck the right string, you can make that energy bounce.

And Lennon knew how to pluck the right string.

It was like he awakened some long-dormant musical god that day. He never sounded as good as he did then. His guitar sounded like golden honey, and his voice just hit all the right notes. The way he moved on stage got the crowd screaming his name, calling us back for encore after encore after encore. We ate into over an hour of the main act’s time, the backstage guys had to cut our feed and turn off the lights in order to get us out. Even then, the crowd screamed for more.

We walked off that stage sweaty, shaking and emotional wrecks. We got backstage and packed up our stuff, still in a daze from what just happened.

As we slung our equipment on our backs, we all just grinned at each other. We could feel it. That night was the start. We walked out to the sounds of people screaming our names, Lennon and his top hat already becoming famous.

It didn’t take long for another agent to give us a ring. This time, as the main act.

From there it’s all in the history books. We got a manager, got a record deal, sold platinum and went on tour. Lennon’s smooth guitar and raw talent carrying us to stardom, his angled face and top hat becoming recognizable to the whole world.

But something happened to him. Something really changed.

I didn't notice it at first. The way he talked was changing, the way he walked. Hell, even the way he looked at you. Sometimes he’d just look lost, or angry, or sad. The only thing that made him happy was his guitar. He'd just string it for hours, lost in a daze.

His voice became more raspy, more high-pitched. The crowds loved it, sounded like a banshee wailing. I almost pissed myself the first time I heard it. I couldn’t believe it was coming from Lennon. Sounded unreal.

He just glanced at me, gave me a wink and kept on going. Something about that wink gave me the creeps, but I couldn't figure it out until years later, as I was lying in bed reminiscing as all old people do.

His eyes were blue.

Another thing I noticed was the toll it took on him. He’d crawl off that stage, soaked in sweat, his cheeks hollow, hair plastered to his neck with sweat underneath that damn hat, and his eyes sunken. He looked like a bloody corpse, dragging itself out the grave. With each performance it just got worse and worse, each one seemed to take a bit of him. He sorta became a recluse, only really coming out of his room to go to gigs or interviews. Had the servants bring food to him. Sometimes, Johnny and I'd forget he's even there.

But man, we had it good. With the cash from the records, as well as the tour, we set ourselves up in some mansion on top of the hill. Got us a few staff to clean up and run the ship, got new kit and a bunch of toys. Ate steak every night. Except for Johnny, he never did stop eating those noodles. For years we lived the life that we dreamed of. Sex, drugs and rock and roll.

And the women. Man, after a gig we’d have our pick, even when we grew old and soft around the middle they'd still fling themselves at us. Take home whichever one you pleased. Or more, if that was what you wanted. Most wanted Lennon, of course, but some would settle for Johnny or me. I had my fair share, lemme tell ya. Would bring them with in the limo, take them to the mansion, let them have a look around and give them a good time. Would party with them for days, until their boyfriends or husbands started calling.

Lennon always went home with someone after a gig. Every time, he’d look out at the crowd, point to the one he wanted, and just took her home. Straight through the front door and up the stairs to his room. We wouldn't see them leave until hours later, sometimes even days.

But sometimes, we'd never see them leave.

When that happened, Lennon would come out that room alone, always looking better than ever. Rosy cheeks, clear skin, bright eyed. Ten years younger.

We never really questioned it. Was too hooked to the good life to ask many questions. Perhaps we should've, but when you were as well fed as we were, you tend not to bite the hand that's feeding you.

But someone did start asking questions. Some girls mom got worried, cus her little princess didn't come home after the concert, so she went to the police. When they did fuck all, she went to the next best thing: the media.

Turns out she was last seen hopping into Lennon’s limo after a gig, arms draped around him. Then some paparazzi psycho hanging around our place confirmed he snapped a picture of her going in, and hadn't seen her going out.

The media snatched up the story and ran with it. Suddenly dozens of moms were coming forward, saying that their daughters went to one of our gigs and never came back. Headlines were made, with Lennon’s face plastered on the front. "Missing woman last seen at Ballad Mansion!", "Lennon prime suspect in missing persons case!". It was huge, and the bigger the spotlight that was put on him, the more secrets it showed. Dozens of those girls never made it home.

It got bad. People were protesting outside our gates. Our female staff outright quit, saying they felt unsafe. Cops were snooping around, prying into all our affairs. No amount of money was gonna make that problem disappear, and if Johnny and I weren't careful, it'd drag us down as well.

One day, Johnny had had enough. I spotted him pacing up and down, at the foot of the steps. I asked him what the hell was his issue. He grabbed me, eyes wild, and pointed up the steps.

"Man, I can't take it. Something's fucking wrong with Lennon, and I can't just sit here and let it carry on! Can't you feel it too?" he asked me. He looked like a man who had saw a ghost, white faced and wide eyed.

I agreed, though. We both knew that something wasn't right with Lennon, but no one wanted to do shit about it. We sorta just brushed it off, put it in the back of our minds.

"I'm gonna go up there and ask him. No, demand that he fucking explains what's happening. Cus I can't take this anymore, man. I can't."

He stormed up those stairs like he had serious business. I watched as he got to the top, turned to the left and walked off to Lennon’s room.

I waited on the bottom of those steps for hours, staring up at them, waiting for Johnny to come back down.

After a day of waiting, I started packing my bags.

Johnny never came down those stairs.

I left that mansion with nothing but my guitar and a suitcase of clothes. Flew down to LA and set myself up in this place, and never spoke to Lennon again. The band died overnight, and people flooded to me with questions I wasn't willing to answer.

Lennon died a few years after. Of a heart attack. At 43. It hit him overnight they said, knocked him dead in a moment. Guy had no chance.

Left me everything in his will. The money, the rights to the labels and the mansion. I sold that horrible place to the highest bidder, before I decided to tear it down brick by brick. Thought that was the end of it.

I retired. Got married to my now ex-wife. We had a kid, who now won't talk to me. Took up gardening for about a month.

Grew old.

Then one day I got a knock on my door. I opened it up, thinking it was some upstart journalist again. But sitting on my front doorstep, like God himself placed it there, was that hat. That damn skull grinning up at me, a note stuck in between its jaws.

It was from Lennon, written in his handwriting. It told me to keep this locked away, that he only trusts me with it and that he wants me to keep it safe.

I still have it, locked away in the cabinet. Most days I forget about it, locked away behind that glass. Maybe I'm getting sentimental, or maybe I'm just growing senile, but sometimes, I can hear it whispering to me. Trying to get me to put it on, saying I can have whatever I want, as long as I have it on.

[And sometimes, that voice sounds like Lennon’s.](www.reddit.com/r/DoopleWrites/)

submitted by /u/DoopleWrites [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2NbH3eX

[mylinlondon]

Stonehenge aliens, being a London tourist 101, and the Parents Federinko

I don’t remember my first transatlantic trip - I only have glimpses of what the 4 year old me held precious, like the Cathay Pacific backpack filled with coloring books and a Captain’s pin to ease the 16 hr journey, and vague impressions of my Aunt Lily’s wooded NJ house. I remember reading somewhere that you don’t form permanent memories until after the age of 6, and everything you recall before this is constructed from what other people tell you happened.

Luckily I was spared of any stress trying to get to our destination - Mum and Dad Federinko had no such luck.  The five months of careful planning was unseated right at the start when their flight from Pittsburgh was delayed just enough to miss their layover in NYC, spend the night in JFK’s terminal 3, and miss an entire day’s worth of itinerary.  Alex was devastated, tossing throughout that night right along with them.

It must have filled the quota of inevitable bad luck, because the rest of the trip could not have gone more smoothly.

LONDON

It’s about time I wrote up London, right?

After months of visitors, we’ve got a pretty solid itinerary to hit the essentials in London.  To be honest, we did very little work to hone this trail - most of our guests were much more prepared for what they wanted to see than we were, and none more prepared than Mum and Dad.  Here are some vetted recommendations.

London Tours

They’re tacky, yes, but honestly they’re wonderful ways to get London from another perspective.  It’s a packed city with narrow streets, and there’s nothing better than getting some historical background and actually having the space and time to look around rather than dodging throngs of people. Especially because this city is an actual labyrinth of cobblestone.

There are a slew of big bus tours you can take in and around London - one of the key departure points for all of them is just across the river at the Tower of London - from there, it’s as easy as buying tickets from any of the vendors hawking maps, and getting on the next bus that comes (they’re usually 10-15 mins apart).  You can, of course, pre-book them online. We spotted at least 6 different big bus companies, and the one Mum and Dad picked was the Original Bus Tour, which we highly recommend.  It took approximately 1.5-2 hrs to do a full loop around the heart of London, stopping once at Victoria Station to change drivers. (As usual, with these bus tours, you’re at the mercy of having an enthusiastic and entertaining narrator, neither of which is guaranteed.  One of our emcees were better than the other, but it was a pleasant experience nonetheless, and I definitely learned a few things.)

My sister did a Harry Potter walking tour, which she booked in advance.  We weren’t able to join, but she said it was brilliant - you get to see quite a few scenes from the books and the movies, though the emphasis is more on the movies. You do take the tube in addition to walking, as the sights are all around the city, so you have to come equipped with an Oyster or contactless card.

In front of Buckingham Palace

Our usual walking loop includes

Starting at our flat in Shad Thames, walk on the Queen’s Walk along the south bank of the Thames all the way down to Westminster Bridge. Along here, you’ll see Tower Bridge, City Hall, London Bridge, Borough Market, Shakespeare’s Globe Theater, the Tate, the Millennium Bridge, the National Theater, Waterloo Bridge, and the London Eye.  Definitely grab coffee and a bite to eat before or during, especially if you’re going to swing by Borough Market. That’s a separate post all in itself.

Cross Westminster bridge and pass Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Houses of Parliament, then head right to go north on Whitehall Road to pass 10 Downing Street, the Churchill War Rooms and Trafalgar Square

Make a left at Trafalgar Square through the “Mall”, stroll through St James Park to Buckingham Palace. Once you’re done there, head straight north through Green Park, and once you hit the main road (Picadilly) make a right until you hit Piccadilly Circus.

If you do this right, starting with an early breakfast, you’ll be in the perfect location for a long lunch in Covent Garden or Leicester Square after a 6-7ish mile walk. There’s much more to see of London, but if you have a limited time (only 1-2 days) this is a great way to cover a lot of ground.

As with all European cities, be prepared to walk quite a bit, and have thicker-soled sneaks so you don’t beat your feet and ankles up on the cobblestone.

Windsor, Bath, and Stonehenge

We booked the Golden Tours trek for this one - they offer a bunch of itineraries, but we chose the most loaded one to make the most of the day.  The bus departs around 8am, and returns around 8:20pm depending on traffic.  Stonehenge in itself is 3 hrs away, so if you’re going to spend that much time on the road, might as well make a few pit stops, right?

Windsor itself was underwhelming - if you’ve never seen a castle before, this is a cool one to start, as it is one of the oldest seats in the London area to the British Monarchy.  It’s not enormous, but it’s sizable and features a moat, several large gardens and a series of really well preserved Georgian and Baroque sitting rooms.  The best view, from the front gardens, is inaccessible.  It’s not a bad place to stop, and Windsor the town is pretty cute. There’s a huge queue of tourists who are on the exact same itinerary before the castle gates even open, so you get the impression from the get-go this is a well trod stop to Stonehenge.  When the Queen is in for a summer weekend, they close down the castle, naturally.

Bath - as literal a name as you can get.  But it is remarkable when you think about the Roman empire, over 2000 years ago, spread its mark so far that even England carries traces of its influences even to this day.  Pumped from deep hot springs and set in one of the prettiest cities of the UK, this Roman Bath is incredibly well preserved except for the fact that it is missing a ceiling, thus allowing critters and algae to form in the marble pools below.  You can drink the water from one of the direct sources still, and Mum swears it healed her dry skin! Unfortunately I can’t say the same for my eczema. You can also grab a quick bite or gelato here, if the cheese sandwich lunch that comes with the bus tour wasn’t enough. Bath is also one of Jane Austen’s many homes, and she’s written a few novels here. It is one of the UNESCO World Heritage Cities. 

Which leads me to a recurring thought as we galavant through Europe - what will still be standing in 2,000 years that was made today? Certainly not football stadiums, and hopefully not corporate offices.  What will they find, and what will it tell them about us?  Will there even be anything left? Who is the “them”?

Stonehenge carries this thought even further - over 5,500 years ago, and then over the course of the next 3 millennia, some people moved these 30 ton stones HUNDREDS of miles, aligned them perfectly to the sun’s movements, shaped and dug and set them deep into the ground, and we have no idea WHY. The precision, the massive work to move such heavy objects so far, all in the Paleolithic age, before metal tools were around to create straight edges or measure perfect angles.

I can’t say who or why, and I’m not ruling anything out, but I’m not buying the alien theory.

THOUGH

There was a suspicious moment when we were walking around the perimeter (which, to our delight, was trailed with funfetti sheep) where suddenly dad dropped his audio guide - and when he picked it up, the battery was gone.  He and Alex spent a good 15 minutes searching the ground around us, but it was nowhere to be found.  Here they are sharing an audio guide after the alien battery abduction.

Alex is keener on the alien idea than I am.

They say you leave Stonehenge either completely disappointed or completely in awe.  I’m definitely in the latter group.

We returned to work that week, and mum and dad took a quick trip to Edinburgh (see post here for our experience last year!). It’s an easy trip to make for 2-3 days, especially if you don’t want to get through the hassle of an airport.

I’d talk more about our travel around London, visiting the sights and eating great food, but honestly it felt just a relief to have them there. There’s something about being around parents to feel comforted and at ease and at home, no matter where or how old you are. The most memorable moments for me was just hanging out, figuring out how to work AppleTV, ordering food and spending time together. It’s the biggest and most important ingredient missing while living here.

The last few days was spent doing just that- taking in the city, having drinks at pubs (one of which would be made famous a few weeks later during the London Bridge incident as a site of refuge), and trying not to think about them going home. Our last evening we opened a bottle of champagne by Potters Field Park next to the Tower Bridge that Alex and I frequently lay out at - and the one I’m in as we speak, 2 months later, typing up this post.

There are a few places I know will define our experience living here in London - this is one of them. We walk past this little park every day to get to work, to get to the grocery store, and on weekends, it’s our backyard, where we sip watermelon drinks, eat sandwiches from our favorite coffeeshop and read The Economist. All set to the backdrop of the Tower Bridge, which we can see from the street we live on.

With mum and dad there, it felt like our concept of London as home was complete, if only just for a little bit.  

[weareemilydoe]

#SurvivorSunday: Fighting for justice

When I was 14 one of my best friends lived right next door to me, it was awesome, I loved living that close to such a good friend. We frequently had sleepovers at her house, and I spent a lot of time at her house even if I wasn't spending the night. Her mother was married to a Military man who had done multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I got to know him, I trusted him and I thought he was my friend. When he was on leave we often went to the local lake and swam, talked, watched movie, etc. In February 2008 there was an eclipse and my friend and I stayed up to watch it. There was a hill right next to our houses and we went up the hill despite the snow to get a better view of it that night, her stepfather came with us. When the eclipse was over we went back down the hill and she went home, I stayed out a little longer and talked to her stepfather (remember I thought this man was my friend despite him being 24 at the time and me being 14). He started asking e some really weird questions, and making really weird statements...... "It's been awhile since I've seen anyone's breasts, would you let me see yours?". I said "No" and brushed it off thinking he was tired or just being weird, and forgot about it. Later that year during the summer (I wanna say around June or July) we went to the local lake to swim and he came with us. He was putting girls up on his shoulders and letting them fall back into the water. When my turn came I declined, I'm afraid of heights and I was on my monthly that day and didn't feel comfortable doing it. Needless to say everyone else (including him) spent what felt like a good 10 minutes talking me into it until I finally gave in and did it. After I fell back into the water he smiled at me, and by that I don't mean a normal smile, this was the creepiest smile I had ever seen anyone give someone. In that second I knew that he had felt the tampon I had in to make it so I could go swimming, and I was thoroughly creeped out. Again being me, a very trusting and forgiving person, I thought nothing of it and ignored it, and THAT I still regret to this day. August 13, 2008 was the day my life came to a screeching halt! It was exactly 1 week from my 15th birthday (I was born August 20th) and I decided to spend the night at my best friend's house that night. When we were in her room we started watching scary movies, he came in to join us which wasn't unusual. He was in his boxers which I found weird but it was his house so I thought nothing of it. I was sitting on the end of the bed minding my own business when his foot rubbed up against my genitals, I immediately jumped back further and he continued doing it with his toes, I said nothing. Now to change the subject momentarily, I took ASL (American sign language) the year before in HS as my language credit towards my HS diploma. Now back to that night, he started asking me how to sign specific letters. Me not knowing where this was going I showed him. "How do you sign the letter B?" "How do you sign the letter L?". After I had showed him how to sign all the letters I put them together "Blow Me".  It started getting late and we were watching a movie called "Shriek if you know what I did last Friday the 13th". My friend had fallen asleep by this point and her stepfather and I were still awake watching the movie. For some reason he grabbed a blanket, and put it around the both of us. a few minutes later his hand went up my shirt and he started touching my left breast over my bra. At this time he kept telling me "If this makes you feel uncomfortable you can tell me to stop", needless to say I couldn't speak. I started pushing his hand away, but he just kept putting it back. After that his hand went under my bra. He started asking me questions "How big are your boobs?" this was the ONLY time I said anything to him for some reason. I told him I was a D cup, more questions came "Really?" "That's what my bra says"..... I don't know how long this went on for, but eventually I went onto the floor in front of the bed trying to get away from him the only way I knew how, he followed. He continued putting his hands on me. Again I moved, this time back up to the bed in another attempt to get away from him. Again he followed me. After putting his hand back on my left breast he then took my right hand and put it on his genitals. I pulled my hand away multiple times, but I realized there was no point, he just kept putting my hand back on him. He started asking me more questions "Am I the biggest you've ever seen?" To this I said nothing. "Am I the only one you've ever seen?" Again I said nothing. Eventually he went to bed and I layed down and tried my hardest to get to sleep, eventually I did get a few hrs sleep. In the morning I woke up before anyone and went home, I crawled into my mother's bed at 14 yrs of age and bawled my eyes out. When asked what was wrong I lied and said "Nothing, I just missed you". you'd think this would be the end, but sadly it's not. Later that day (around 8pm) I called my dad, his wife (my then stepmother) answered. "You're dad's asleep" she said. I again started bawling my eyes out and screamed into the phone "Well you need to wake him up, I was molested last night". She immediately woke my dad up, and I told him everything through the crying. I then had the hard task of calling my mom at work and telling her she needed to come home. When everyone (both of my parents) finally got to my mom's apartment around 10pm we called the police so I could give my statement. When the police got there around 10:30 I started giving my statement. The man I had once been friends with, the man I had trusted, came down to my apartment in the middle of me giving my statement (around 11pm) to ask if everything was ok and to ask my mother if she could cut his stepdaughter's hair the next day. My dad later told me all the color drained out of my entire body when I saw him at the door. My mom not wanting him to know what was happening told him "It's a family matter, and yes I'll cut her hair tomorrow" (my mom cut hair for a living). After again asking if everything my dad stepped outside with this man and told him yet again it was a family matter and he should leave (I don't know how my dad did this, I could see it in my dad's face he wanted to hurt this man). After finishing my statement the officer said he would talk to the man the next day and get in contact with us about what would happen with the case, we never heard from the officer again. My mom sent me to my dad's house for the remainder of the summer break from school. This man was in the military, had guns, and my mother feared for my life. I don't blame her one bit. Again you'd think this is where it ends, but again sadly no. 2 days after being sexually assaulted my stepmother wanted me to walk the dog. I said "No, I don't want to go outside" she proceeded to tell me to "get over it" I started bawling, and swearing at her, yelling "I just want my dad". I was told if I didn't stop swearing I would be sent back to my mom's house. Years later we finally heard back from the police, more girls had come forward about the same man, and they wanted to retake my statement. I gave them my statement again. In 2014 he was FINALLY arrested abusing another girl. I was contacted and asked to speak via telephone about what he had done to me, I was hesitant, but I did. His lawyer proceeded to ask me questions that I still to this day don't understand. "Why were there 2 different times on each statement about what time you left his house that morning?" I kept calm and said that I didn't know I given different times for each statement. She asked me even more ridiculous questions, she basically wound up making it seem like I had made the whole thing up and that I was just a slut...... He was found INNOCENT! In January 2017 he was arrested yet again for abusing yet another girl. He his now on the sex offender registry. He got 5 yrs ALL suspended, 4 yrs of probation, and has to be on the sex offender registry for 10 yrs. I never got justice for what he did to me, but at least someone did.